I went on a £11,000 desert orgasm retreat — this is everything that happened

If you ever find yourself in Joshua Tree National Park in California, don’t be alarmed if you hear the moans and groans of women at the height of orgasm.

The Back to Body Sex Retreat takes place among the wilderness, which aims to teach women how to reach climax.

The X-rated retreats are hosted at a variety of beautiful locations and range in cost — typically guests pay around £11,000, but Jana Hocking, this week’s Just Between Us podcast guest, went along to the three-day retreat, priced at just under £1,000.

Hosted by founder Pamela Marsden and her team of helpers, there’s a packed timetable — from bondage classes during which guests are stimulated to orgasm, to real-life anatomy lessons.

At 40, Jana felt like she was in a ‘sexual spiral’ and says she had begun to perform during sex, at the expense of her own pleasure.

So, keen to change her ways, she headed to Back to Body, one of 16 women (all in their 40s, apart from one 75-year-old) who were keen to change their ways.

Here’s how she got on…

Prioritise your needs

‘I thought it would be full of extroverts who were outlandish and wanted to perform in front of each other, but it really wasn’t,’ says Jana.

‘They were either getting divorced and realised they hadn’t had a proper orgasm and wanted to right wrongs, while other women were dealing with trauma and needed to learn how to enjoy sex again, which was quite heartbreaking.

Upon arrival, the group were presented with a charcuterie board of fruits and cheeses.

As they tucked in, creator Pamela appeared. Little did they know, the women had already been taught a valuable lesson.

Pamela asked if they had helped themselves to the snacks they wanted, or if they’d stood back and let others eat first.

Jana initially thought she’d gone wrong when she began eating without hesitation, but Pamela insisted she’d actually got it right.

Jana says: ‘Pamela explained that women are brought up to believe we take the scraps.

‘She told us: “Let this cheeseboard be an example that you should put your needs first”‘.

Know your body

The first exercise involved going around in a circle, with each woman explaining why they attended the retreat — but Jana says that was pretty much the only tame thing that happened.

Then, it was on to tantric meditation, guided by Pamela and the helpers.

‘We had to hold our vulvas and rock back and forth, either naked or in our underwear, and speak to our vulva and tell it what we wanted, who we wanted to be and what our goals were,’ Jana says.

‘My goal was to take back ownership of my sexuality because I realised I was performing — I can do a Meg Ryan orgasms like the best of them — but am I having a real orgasm? Am I putting my needs first?’

For the next activity, blindfolds appeared. ‘We were blindfolded and laid on the ground while sexy music played,’ Jana explains. ‘The helpers adorned your naked body with crystals and fruit, to bring you back to your femininity.

‘The older woman lying next to me looked down at her body and just lit up,’ Jana adds. ‘I started crying because it was beautiful to see her looking at her body like it was brand new.’

Live demonstrations

It gets wilder, if that’s even possible. Jana says there was a shabari workshop — a Japanese art in the use of rope with a partner. It’s often considered a form of bondage, and at the retreat, it involved the helpers stimulating the women in different ways by scratching, whispering and growling.

The aim was for each participant to discover which kink lit that fire inside them, and made them want to get it on.

Following that, a male sex educator brought Pamela to orgasm in front of everyone.

‘It was half an hour of foreplay — flirting, shibari, stroking, lathering up with lube — then the climax was him fingering her,’ Jana says. ‘I thought I’d feel uncomfortable but apart from being nervous, it just went on so long I got bored.’

There was even a demonstration from a urologist who got naked and pointed at her private parts, so all the women knew every part of their anatomy.

Did Jana orgasm?

Sadly, Janna was the only one at the retreat who didn’t reach orgasm, but she’s now well-equipped to climax in the comfort of her own bed.

‘I got close with the shibari ropes,’ she says. ‘I think my brain was just too on during the whole thing.

‘A lot of women got really good at letting go and being touched consensually, but all I kept thinking was “who’s doing this?” because you’ve got a blindfold on.

‘The women around me were experiencing the most amazing orgasms, but I couldn’t switch off, unfortunately.’

Upon leaving though, she hooked up with an ex-boyfriend and had an amazing time.

‘I had the best sex I’ve ever had,’ Jana says. ‘I’d spend a grand to do that again.’

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