‘Do you ever wake yourself up having an orgasm?’
I stared at Diana as she asked me the question, completely mind-boggled. I can safely say I’ve never had an orgasm while sleeping, and apparently, I’m missing out.
‘Sometimes I’m asleep and then I’ll wake up having an orgasm — it’ll wake me up,’ Diana explains. ‘I don’t know whether the dream is very sexy, or what’s going on, but I’ll open my eyes and have to attend to the fact it’s happening.
‘It happened this morning,’ she adds.
This was a hot topic on this week’s episode of Just Between Us, Metro’s sex and relationships podcast, which was all about orgasms: check out the £11,000 orgasm retreat we got the lowdown on, too.
But after I was left O-so speechless by Diana’s sleepgasms (and a little jealous), I enlisted the help of Dr Hana Patel, UK GP and women’s health expert, to reveal just how sleep orgasms work.
When can you get a sleepgasm?
Otherwise known as a nocturnal orgasm, this is an orgasm that happens during your sleep, without any physical stimulation.
‘They’re a healthy part of sexual function, often linked to erotic dreams or subconscious arousal,’ Dr Patel tells Metro.
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She explains it usually happens during REM sleep.
REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement – the more deep your sleep, the more your eyes will move around. Once you’re in REM sleep your eyes move quickly in all directions.
In this deep sleep, your brain becomes much more active. Yes, the more asleep you are, the more alert your brain is. This is where your vivid dreams will happen – at your deepest phase of sleep.
‘This is when the brain regions tied to emotion, memory, and arousal are activated,’ Dr Patel for Superdrug Online Doctor explains.
How does a sleepgasm work?
This increased brain activity can trigger a heightened state of arousal, according to the doctor.
‘Your brain being highly active is to process emotions, memories, and vivid dreams,’ Dr Patel adds.
‘The body reacts on its own during sleep: this could mean more blood flows to the genitals, the muscles in the pelvic area might tighten, and without the brain holding anything back, an orgasm can happen automatically.
‘Despite this, your body will remain mostly paralysed to prevent you acting out dreams.’
Do you need a sexy dream to have a sleepgasm?
While we’d all love to dream we’re getting in on with the likes of Patrick Dempsey, Jacob Elordi, or the dreamy Leah Williamson – sadly it’s not necessary for a nocturnal orgasm. *Huffs*.
In fact, Dr Patel explains that what happened to Diana, is completely normal.
‘People often report waking up mid-orgasm with no memory of a sexual dream,’ she says. ‘This means sleepgasms can occur quite spontaneously, likely triggered by things like body positioning or even hormonal shifts.’
Is this a female wet dream?
In essence, yes.
‘Sleepgasms are broadly comparable to men’s nocturnal penile tumescence (morning wood) or wet dreams,’ Dr Patel says.
She stresses that these are all perfectly natural expressions of our sexual physiology during our sleep – all driven by REM sleep, blood flow and brain-body reponses.
Why do some women have sleepgasms and others don’t?
Sadly, there’s no secret hack to train yourself to have a nocturnal orgasm. I know, I know, it’s very sad.
To be frank, Dr Patel says it’s not a one-size-fits-all answer.
‘Things like hormonal levels, stress, sleep quality and even pelvic floor sensitivity, all play roles,’ she adds.
‘Some people might not even wake up when orgasming – or remember it – so it could also go unnoticed.’
That’s a darn shame.
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