The 4 signs your relationship has ‘just run its course’

After 19 years together, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have reportedly called it quits.

The 58-year-old actress and the 57-year-old country singer have allegedly been living apart since the summer, according to reports in TMZ.

The couple first married in 2006, and they’ve since raised two daughters, 17-year-old Sunday Rose and 14-year-old Faith Margaret.

Following news of the break-up, an unnamed source told the New York Post that ‘sometimes, relationships just run their course.’

So, when there’s no big blow out — no cheating or toxic family drama — why would a relationship just… end? And what are the warning signs it might be happening?

What are the signs a relationship has run its course?

As relationship psychologist and dating expert, Dr Lalitaa Suglani, tells Metro, describing a relationship as having ‘run its course’ usually means that ‘the connection you share with the other person is no longer bringing growth, joy, or a sense of partnership.’

She says: ‘Many people assume it’s always about conflict or not getting on, but often it’s simply that the relationship has fulfilled its purpose and come to a natural close.

‘Two people may no longer be on the same path, and the bond that once felt alive now feels stagnant or misaligned with who they have become as their authentic selves.’

The first telltale sign that your relationship might’ve run its course is an ongoing or ‘persistent’ feeling of disconnection from your partner.

As Dr Lalitaa explains, this might look like no longer feeling ‘emotionally close or invested in the other person.’

She adds: ‘They may no longer feel like a priority in your life and attempts to rebuild intimacy fall flat. The distance between you feels less like a rough patch and is no longer a genuine connection.’

The second indicator is that your relationship perhaps feels stuck – with your values, goals, or future plans no longer aligning.

Dr Lalitaa, for eharmony, says: ‘Without shared growth or purpose, the connection stops supporting your authentic selves.’

Thirdly, feeling indifferent towards spending time with your partner could also be a red flag that something isn’t quite right.

In Dr Lalitaa’s experience, this happens when ‘your partner’s presence feels like an obligation rather than a choice,’ as the ‘natural pull towards each other fades, leaving a lack of genuine closeness.’

Ultimately, though, it all culminates in one final symptom: a loss of joy in the relationship.

‘You cannot remember the last time you truly enjoyed each other’s company,’ Dr Lalitaa says.

‘Shared experiences feel flat, and the warmth that once came from authentic connection has disappeared.’

How to communicate with your partner if you feel the relationship needs to end

If these points seem to resonate and, together with your partner, how might you go about breaking up when there’s no one to blame or clear reason to cite?

Throughout, make sure to be both clear and compassionate. Dr Lalitaa suggests: ‘Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blame.’ This might include sentences like: ‘I feel like we’ve grown apart’ or ‘you don’t make me happy.’

It’s fundamental that you choose the right setting to hold this conversation – and that might look like a quiet, calm space where you won’t be interrupted.

Naturally, you’ll need to expect it to be an emotionally loaded discussion. You might feel ‘sadness, anger of shock,’ but Dr Lalitaa suggests ‘staying grounded and gentle, but firm in your decision.’

‘You’re not responsible for carrying guilt or shame about another person’s feelings,’ she says.

‘Recognising the good times can soften the impact and allow both people to leave with dignity and mutual respect.’

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