‘I’m the death guy,’ Sam Grice jokes, as he sits in his all-black meeting room, themed to his own funeral song of choice: Back in Black by AC/DC.
At 37, the former New Zealander runs his own estate planning business, Octopus Legacy, which helps people prepare to die with everything legally in place and nothing left unsaid.
But what he never expected was the wacky wishes people have for their funerals, which are so out of the box they’re often unachievable.
‘One of our earlier clients wanted their ashes to be mixed with molten cheese, rolled into a cannonball and fired out over the Thames, while a full pipe band stood behind the cannon playing Scottish music,’ Sam tells Metro.
‘Failing that, he wanted his ashes mixed with cheese and poured down the toilet while the music played on Spotify.’
The CEO, who is intimately familiar with grief himself, says laughter is the best way to deal with grief if you can, so bringing humour into your will and legal documents is ‘really important’.
There’s another surprisingly popular funeral request Sam sees regularly, linked to death practices from the Viking Age.
‘A request we get quite a bit is wanting to be burned on a Viking funeral pyre, they want the fire and arrow flame out,’ he says.
Obviously, this isn’t doable, given open-air pyres are considered illegal under the Cremation Act 1902, but that doesn’t mean they can’t at least lighten the mood by asking for it.
Some people prefer wacky outfits if they’re opting for a burial, rather than a cremation.
‘I had someone who wanted to be buried as Batman,’ Sam laughs.
But there are more wholesome requests he gets often, too. One person wanted an apple tree planted in their honour, for their family to make an apple crumble each year.
‘A lot of people also plan very luxurious lives for their animals after their death – they want their pet looked after,’ Sam adds. ‘One person specified feeding them high-quality human food and giving them daily rubs.’
Something that really puts a smile on Sam’s face is the letters people leave their loved ones when they die. He wishes he had something like this from his mother, who passed away suddenly a decade ago.
‘When mum died, it was very unexpected, she was hit by a car on a morning walk,’ he explains. ‘She was only 60. In the first two weeks, I was in shock because my mum was healthy and fit.
‘I got a call from my sister while I was making breakfast. It’s that feeling of you’re never going to see your mum again, and I wouldn’t wish anyone to go through it.
‘I was on autopilot dealing with grief, and it was crippling.’
He still finds it hard, not knowing what advice she’d give him if he got married, and not knowing what her absolute favourite food was, so watching other people share that with their loved ones is comforting.
‘One man wrote a love letter to his wife which he wanted shared with her years after he died,’ Sam adds. ‘I read a lot of messages from mums and dads to their children, which is really emotional. I didn’t get anything like that, so for me it’s lovely to see.’
The legacy box
Octopus Legacy focuses not just on the practical side of funeral wishes and estate planning, but also on the emotional side of death. Sam and his team created a box which helps people say a proper goodbye and leave nothing left unsaid.
‘About 30% of our clients take out a legacy box,’ he explains. ‘It encourages people to leave memories, voice notes – notes about themselves or advice that they want to pass on.’
The idea came from his colleague, Eliza. ‘When her grandfather died, he had a “For When I’m Gone” folder which had everything in it, from how he wanted a comedy skit at the funeral, through to advice about how to fix a leaky tap,’ Sam says.
In the legacy box, there’s a Dictaphone so they can record their voice and their loved ones will be able to hear them, as if they’re talking directly to you, even after they’re gone.
‘If I could pick something up and listen to my mum giving me advice while she’s not here, that would be amazing,’ he admits. ‘Your life and legacy are just as important as your property.’
For example, Sam’s most treasured item from his mother is a recipe book she wrote just before she died on Christmas. ‘It’s all my favourite recipes as a child, all handwritten by her,’ he smiles.
‘It’s wrapped up in five blankets and stored under my bed, I always say to people you’d be surprised at what’s valuable after you’re gone.
‘A lot of people writing wills think I don’t have any more, I don’t need a will, but there’s a lot of stuff you can pass on that’s going to mean more than money.’
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