I left my boyfriend for 5 months to go travelling alone – people say I’m selfish

‘I have tons of men in my comments section saying I must be cheating when I’m away from my boyfriend,’ Christina Patel, 33, says.

Christina first met her partner KJ, 41, on Hinge seven years ago, sharing that it wasn’t exactly love at first sight.

‘On the first date I remember thinking “does this guy even like me?” I found him so hard to read him, but after we met up for the second time, I thought “okay, yeah there’s something here”.’

While the couple quickly became a serious item, their lifestyles couldn’t have been more different.

KJ is a teacher, someone who likes to keep to himself and stay off of social media – even shying away from showing his face in pictures. Christina, on the other hand, is an extrovert, a travel content creator who documents her life on social media and leaves the country for months at a time to explore the world alone.

She’s been to over 40 countries since she met KJ in 2019, with him only joining her on around 10 of those trips.

You’d think the pair would clash, but in reality it’s strangers who’ve decided that their love must be doomed.

Christina has been travelling around the world for over a decade, first catching the bug shortly after she left university and realising she wasn’t interested in committing to a full time corporate job straight away.

‘I went backpacking with two friends to start with, but we only spent three months together because we all wanted to go to different places. So, it was from then that I decided to go travelling on my own,’ she tells Metro.

The influencer was forced to return to the UK due to visa issues after two years and tried ‘the whole climbing the corporate ladder thing’, making time to travel around her nine to five.

During that time she also launched her travel blog and started taking freelance photography gigs as she made her way from country to country, using up her annual leave for every trip she could squeeze in.

And then, two years ago, she officially took the plunge – quitting her full time job and pouring all her energy into her curating an online brand as the go-to expert on all things ‘solo travel for adventurous women.’

Recent data from tour operator Jules Verne found that solo travellers accounted for 46% of bookings for its trips departing in 2026, up from 40% in 2023. And of that number, just under 70% of its current solo bookings are by women.

Christina has become a massive advocate, especially for women in their 30s, to get a taste of what the world has to offer.

But this incredible vocation also means Christina is often out of the country for weeks at a time, with one of her longest trips in 2024 separating her from KJ for five months.

Could that really not be a recipe for disaster?

‘My friends don’t understand how I could leave my boyfriend for that long’

‘During our first four months of dating, I was just going off here, there, and everywhere and he’d just say “ok, I’ll see you when you get back” so, it was never an intentional thing where I had to say “I’m going to start solo travelling, you have to accept it.” It was just the way it was from the very start.

‘He’s eight years older than me, and he’s always preferred the more leisure side of travel, whereas I favour the adventure. So this works, neither of us have to compromise. And we both get to hold onto our independence.’

When the pair are apart they WhatsApp ‘every single day.’ But different time zones make calls tricky, so Christina notes they tend to just FaceTime and catch up on the weekends.

Loving KJ has always accepted and respected Christina’s mantra of ‘travel first’, but the content creator admits that some of her friends and family took a while longer to come to terms with the couple’s setup.

Christina explains: ‘I’m quite lucky that my immediate friendship circle and I are very similar. We’re all 33, none of us have had kids, and we’ve all prioritised travel, so we all have a very similar mindset in that respect.

‘But some of my friends who are in relationships tell me all the time that they could “never leave their boyfriends for that long” but because it’s beenpart of our relationship from day one it’s just never been an issue.’

Men on the internet have also expressed their disbelief in Christina and KJ’s set up.

One user wrote underneath one of the 33-year-old’s videos: ‘You have a passive, compliant, obedient, subservient man who views you as an obligation that is easily scheduled and fits into his sense of convenience without much investment or mental challenge.

‘Given that you neither really like or respect him more than your travel fantasies, it’s a wonderful match. You two deserve each other.’

How charming.

This is just one example of the kind of comments Christina receives: ‘The amount of men in my comments calling me names and insinuating that while I’m away I might be doing something, or while he’s at home he must be cheating, it’s so odd, people have tunnel vision about this kind of stuff.

‘It’s as if, if you’re not doing it yourself, then there must be an issue.’

During our chat, the influencer adds that the couple have taken some amazing trips together as well, making time to celebrate special moments and experience the world as a unit. But when they are apart, they continue to be as solid as ever.

‘I’m not taking a vacation from my relationship’

‘KJ is very focused on his career,’ Christina notes, ‘he’s just been promoted to Deputy Head at his school, whereas I’m a bit more of a free spirit right now. Travel’s my priority.’

And why wouldn’t it be? Christina’s building a brand for herself, and KJ is more than happy to cheer her on from a distance.

Christina adds: ‘I met KJ when I was almost 27 and it was my first and only serious relationship. So I had my whole adult life completely free. And I think travel has definitely meant we have a greater appreciation for each other.

‘Now when I come home, maybe I haven’t seen him for the last couple of months, it keeps the honeymoon alive.’

So, what does the future hold for Christina and KJ?

‘I’m planning on going on another two- month long trip towards the end of the year,’ Christina shares.

‘I think obviously at some point things will change, when we decide to have children, it will become a whole different world for us. But for now we’re happy the way things are.’