I’m finally dating a woman — this is what it’s like to lose your strap-on virginity

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week we hear from Andie*, 26, who has officially been with her girlfriend for just over a month, after matching on Hinge in November 2025.

Andie came out as bisexual when she was 21, telling Metro: ‘I’ve probably known that I was attracted to both men and women since I was a teenager.

‘At first, I was very scared to explore that side of myself, so I didn’t truly embrace my sexuality until I moved to London after university.’

Andie’s girlfriend, Cleo*, is the first woman she’s been in a relationship with.

‘I keep asking myself why I waited this long’, she says. ‘Cleo’s incredible. I felt a sense of calm and ease in those first few weeks that I’d never experienced while dating men.’

The new couple have sex around three times a week, although it varies.

‘My understanding of sex is no longer just about penetration,’ says Andie. ‘I’ve come to value slower, more intimate moments in a way I never did before.

‘Foreplay is a huge part of our dynamic, and some of our most passionate moments happen when we’re still half-dressed, just kissing on the bed.

‘Being with her has also brought out sides of me I didn’t expect – I always assumed I was naturally submissive, but I’ve discovered a more dominant side.’

Without further ado, here’s how Andie got on this week.

The following is, as you might expect, NSFW…

Saturday

During the week, my alarm usually goes off well before 7am, so on weekends I sleep in for as long as possible.

Once I’m up, I make a coffee and flop onto the sofa. I’ve only got a few days to finish this month’s book club pick, The Safekeep. Ironically, it’s all about a lesbian relationship. Cleo often jokes that since I started dating a woman, all the media I consume is ‘extremely gay.’

Cleo and I have also been talking about me using her strap-on. We haven’t tried it yet, and I’m feeling a mixture of nervousness and excitement. She’s used it on me quite a few times already, and it’s been incredible. 

I’ve never been able to finish in missionary with a man, but when Cleo straps me in that position, I always orgasm.

Sunday

I meet my best friend for a roast, and on my way home I swing by Cleo’s. I just want to see her face.

We lie on her bed for an hour or so, talking. Then things start to heat up, and we kiss for what feels like only minutes, but it’s soon dark outside.

She takes off my clothes and Cleo sucks on my nipples and starts grinding against my leg. Pretty quickly we grab her strap, both panting with desire.

She goes first, gently easing into me and bucking her hips back and forth. I’ve always struggled with eye contact during sex — I tend to cringe myself out — but I love looking into Cleo’s eyes.

I finish, twice, and now it’s finally my turn.

It turns out, putting a strap on is not the sexiest thing in the world. You have to kind of step into it, and then fasten some pretty flimsy strings of material around your upper thighs.

It feels weird at first, having a faux penis hanging from my crotch. But when I saw how excited Cleo was, everything else quickly faded away.

I was nervous about how I’d feel, with my body so exposed, but she makes me feel so sexy and wanted. I start grinding into her, biting her ear and then using my free hand to rub her clit.

It’s incredible to see how much she loves this position. It takes me a little while to find a good rhythm, but I soon feel in control. We stay in missionary and I slowly position one of her legs so that I can get deeper.

She finishes and I hold her in my arms. I don’t know what I was so scared of. Even though strapping Cleo was about her pleasure, I was so aroused too.

I’d been worried that given my lack of experience, I’d not be able to properly satisfy her – but now I know that I’m more than capable of making her feel good. Seeing her so turned on made me feel amazing.

We cuddle for a few hours and debrief together, talking about how the experience made us both feel. I love the fact that we can be totally vulnerable and open with each other. 

Monday

I float through Monday on a cloud. Cleo and I exchange flirty texts all morning, with her joking that she’s taken my ‘strap virginity’.

I feel so fulfilled whenever I’m with her. There’s no such thing as gender roles when we’re together, just two people focused on pleasure. Neither one of us needs to take a ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ role, we’re both just content protecting each other’s happiness.

I used to find sexual acts like blowjobs and handjobs such a chore, I liked how it brought my partner’s pleasure, but it didn’t really make me feel anything. But when I touch Cleo, I feel so much desire and lust.

Tuesday

I wake up early with an hour to spare before I’m due to log on, so I lie in bed and daydream about Cleo.

We have a joint playlist (I know, very gay of us), so I put it on and listen to the songs that remind me most of her.

This time last year, I’d developed an almost unhealthy obsession with my vibrator. While I still reach for it occasionally, and Cleo likes using it on me, it’s been nice reintroducing physical intimacy into my life.

I’m all for periods of celibacy — I’ve gone through two long stints myself —but right now, it’s really enjoyable reconnecting with my body, rediscovering how I like to have sex, and doing so with a partner who lets me express myself freely.

Wednesday

I’m meeting Cleo tonight to go to a concert. She greets me with flowers and we spend the night dancing. I love holding her hand while we’re out and about. She kisses me on the cheek and keeps me close.

We both have to get up early so we say goodbye at the station. I wish we could sleep together every night, although moving in together isn’t on our minds yet.

She passionately kisses me goodbye and we part ways.

Thursday

Thursday drags on as I think about how much I want to have sex with Cleo. We meet for drinks after work and before long, I’m dragging her back to the flat.

We go home together and are immediately tugging each other’s clothes off. We go down on each other and I pull at her hair. Her scent makes me feral.

She straddles me and I wish I had bigger hands so that I could hold more of her. I love the way our bodies fit together, she sucks on my neck and I grab her bum as we rock back and forth.

The night turns into the early morning and we eventually fall asleep cocooned under the duvet together, hot and sticky — but perfectly content.

Friday

Cleo starts work later than me so I leave her in bed and go make myself a coffee. She soon joins me on the sofa and we work side by side, taking breaks to kiss or watch YouTube videos.

She goes into my room and as I’m working on an article, my phone screen lights up. I swipe up on our chat and see that she’s sent me a nude — the first nude she’s ever sent me.

In the photo she’s sprawled across my bed, her breasts and torso gently lit by the sun streaming through the window. She’s so beautiful, I still can’t believe she’s mine.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.