When someone dies, family often end up clashing over who’s given what in their will.
But for this week’s Money Problem reader, Robert, the sibling inheritance feud has started while his parents are still alive.
After finding out his brother had been gifted a large sum of money by their parents, he saw his sister-in-law pull up in a new flash car and became suspicious.
Concerned something fishy is going on, the 56-year-old from Bolton reached out to Metro consumer champion, Sarah Davidson, for insight.
The problem…
About six months ago I had a strange conversation with my mum, who is now 78 and slightly forgetful. She mentioned in passing that she and dad (83) had taken out a new mortgage to help my brother and his wife out financially.
I haven’t found any paperwork and, to be honest, I didn’t even think they’d be able to get a mortgage at their ages. I asked my brother about it and he was really cagey and told me our parents had gifted him and his wife some money. He won’t tell me how much but it’s in the tens of thousands of pounds.
Mum and dad keep telling me everything is fine and they’re paying this mortgage off out of my dad’s (quite large) pension each month. I can’t understand why they would have done this though – my brother has a well paid job and his wife works as a manager in a bank.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, my sister-in-law shows up at Sunday lunch in a brand new Range Rover. I’ve tried talking to my parents and to my brother but I’m getting nowhere.
My brother is totally henpecked by his wife and I think it’s her driving this. I’m worried for my parents but also, selfishly, I keep thinking that’s my inheritance she’s spending. What can I do to stop this?
What would you do if you suspected a family member of financial exploitation?
-
Confront them directly
-
Speak with the affected relative privately
-
Seek legal advice
-
Do nothing and hope it's resolved on its own
The answer…
It sounds as though something is off here but I think you need more information before you can be certain.
Firstly, you need to realise that your parents are well within their legal rights to gift your brother and his wife money — the question is whether they wanted to or were made to feel they should.
The situation you describe is ringing several alarm bells though.
The Care Act 2014 explicitly defines financial abuse to include exerting undue influence to obtain gifts or loans, and multiple studies have consistently shown that around 70% of elder financial abuse is committed by family members.
Don't miss our Money tips! Add us as a Preferred Source
At Metro Money, we’re here to bring you all the latest news and advice on personal finance, cost of living, saving and investing. As part of our vibrant community of highly engaged readers, we want to make sure you never miss our articles when searching for stories.
Click the button below and tick Metro.co.uk to ensure you see stories from us first in Google Search.
You’ve said you can’t find any paperwork for the mortgage but it’s absolutely plausible that they’ve been able to get one; most likely a retirement interest-only mortgage or an equity release lifetime mortgage.
Either way, money has been extracted from their estate and transferred to your brother, with the family home ultimately bearing the cost.
So, what can you do about it?
The two key legal questions are whether your parents had full mental capacity when the decision was made and whether they acted freely without undue influence. If either is in doubt, the transaction may be voidable.
The law says that because a parent-child relationship of trust and confidence exists, the burden is on your brother to prove the gift was made freely and with full understanding.
There are several practical steps you can take now.
Begin keeping a detailed written record of everything you know and observe. Note the dates and content of conversations with your parents and your brother.
Record what your mother said about the mortgage, when she said it and in what context. Note the appearance of the Range Rover and any other signs of unexplained expenditure.
If you don’t already know, check with the Office of the Public Guardian whether a lasting power of attorney (LPA) exists for either of your parents. This is a legal document that appoints someone to act on the behalf of another individual.
If your brother has been given lasting power of attorney, he has a legal duty to act in your parents’ best interests. Any abuse of that position should be reported online or by emailing safeguardingunit@publicguardian.gov.uk.
More Metro Money Problems
I’d also strongly recommend you try talking to your parents again. Start along these lines:
‘I’ve been worried about the mortgage you mentioned, not because I doubt your judgement but because I want to make sure you’re fully protected and you understand exactly what you’ve agreed to. Would you be willing to go through the paperwork with me or perhaps see a solicitor together?’
The most important thing is to establish what type of mortgage your parents actually took out.
I suggest you contact the charity Hourglass on 0808 808 8141. They specialise in helping to end the abuse of elderly people and will provide you with free and confidential guidance on what to do next.
If you continue to be unhappy about things, seek advice from a solicitor who specialises in Court of Protection work, contentious probate or elder financial abuse such as the Association of Lifetime Lawyers — many firms offer a free initial consultation.
Finally, don’t feel too selfish about your worry over your inheritance —ultimately this is about the safety of your mum and dad and you caring about them.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
