I thought I was having a threesome – until wine glasses were thrown

‘Why did you choose her, though?’

I was listening to Cleo* screaming at her partner Dennis* in the kitchen.

I was still sitting naked on the sofa in their living room, seconds after taking part in a threesome with them. Only to find myself eavesdropping, as the sound of smashing glass came from behind the door. 

‘You said you wanted someone like her’, Dennis shouted back.

I had no idea what ‘like her’ meant – and I didn’t stick around long enough to find out.

The kitchen door opened and Dennis poked his head through: ‘Sorry, we’ll just be a moment’.

I tried not to burst out laughing at the absurdity of the situation, so I simply nodded back. 

They were obviously fighting about me.

As a newbie to threesomes, this is not what I expected, but it made me really think about the kinds of decisions I was making. And to always ask for more information, before a man swindles you into a sexcapade his partner didn’t want. 

I had found Dennis on Hinge, while seeking out casual sex. There was something about his smile that was particularly charming. 

Our conversation flew easily, and was very playful, so I felt excited to meet him. 

He asked me out for a drink that evening at a local pub, and I happily agreed. They had an Irish band playing, serenading us as we laughed over pints.

I was enamoured by him, so when Dennis offered to go back to his place, I eagerly accepted. 

And that’s when he dropped the news.

‘I hope it doesn’t make you feel weird, but I’m in an open relationship and my girlfriend would love to meet you’

I didn’t know what he was alluding to.

‘Oh’, I said, surprised. 

I had never been in an open relationship, so didn’t really understand the dynamics.

‘Does she know you’re here?’ I asked, seeking out more detail.

‘Oh yes, she chose you!’ Dennis laughed happily. I never found out why.

I’m bisexual, so another woman wasn’t the issue. It was the confusing way he had approached it. He could have just told me at the start. 

But I was already out and we were having a good time – I didn’t want to spoil the mood by rejecting him. 

We walked over to Dennis’s apartment, but his partner wasn’t home.

‘She’s out with friends and will join later’, he told me as we sat on the sofa and started making out. I was okay with that – I was ready for sex with one person, which I was, at that point, desperate for.

But to my disappointment the sex was average – it was vanilla and over quickly – and soon after, Cleo came home.

She was beautiful, with long red hair, and curvy hips that moved hypnotically with every step she took.

She smiled at me as she walked up to us, and sat down.

‘Do you want to go down on me?’ Cleo asked me, seductively. 

While under her spell and hypnotised, I eagerly accepted her request and I didn’t even notice Dennis leave the room, so we could spend time alone together. Cleo and I had great sex just the two of us, and after, I left.

It was a strange experience, but I put it down to my inexperience with couples and I was keen to do it again.

Dennis created a WhatsApp group between the three of us, but it was only ever him who summoned me. So the next few times I went round, eager for a threeway, I ended up just having sex with him. Cleo was nowhere to be seen, and excuses were always made for her. 

I had assumed she would always be there, and so I would go along to have the threesome I was promised at the very start.

The sex with Dennis was always boring and he became less charming, and more annoying as time went on.

I started to lose interest, and he noticed – which I assume is why, the next time I visited, Cleo was there alongside Dennis, both naked and ready to embrace me together. 

I asked Cleo where she had been, and she responded vaguely with ‘at my parents, I needed some time’.

I didn’t understand what that meant, but 5 minutes into our slightly above average threesome, I unfortunately got my answer. 

We were all entangled with each other, when Cleo let out a frustrated scream and stomped to the kitchen. I jolted up, confused.

‘What’s…?’ I started to ask, but Dennis shushed me and hastily followed her into the kitchen.

‘Those noises you were making were obscene’, Cleo screamed at him. 

My eyes widened. I suddenly realised that this had been his idea all along, and she had been going along with it for him – just like me. Cleo and I – two women – were doing what this man said. I felt sorry for her.

I don’t know if she was going along with the threesome or the open relationship as a whole, but it was clear she wasn’t happy. 

‘I make the same noises with you!’ he responded.

‘No you do not, I know you don’t want me and that’s why she’s here’.

It dawned on me that there was something very wrong with their relationship, that Dennis was attempting to avoid it with a threesome.

The argument carried on, and 10 minutes in, I listened to wine glasses flying.

It felt like I was in a soap opera, and I needed to escape. So, I quickly and quietly made my way out of the apartment before they could notice.

On the way out, I blocked the WhatsApp group, and then blocked Dennis on Hinge. 

There was no way I was going to get into that situation again. 

It was all a plan of this outwardly charming man, to have two cakes and eat them both at the same time.

The allure of Cleo had been the only thing bringing me back, but she didn’t even want me there.

Either way, I was out. 

So, next time, if a man tells me about his partner after meeting him, it’s a hard ‘nope’ from me.

There’s nothing wrong with threesomes, if everyone actually wants it.

*Names have been changed 

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

Add as preferred source