Lifestyle

I’ve tattooed the names of all my exes’ mums on my body

David Benjamin
Performance artist Harriet Richardson’s latest work is quite a personal one. But it’s one which she says speaks truth to a subject much bigger than matters of her own private life. In October, she posted a photo of her new tattoo titled ‘Temporary’, inked by Liverpool-based tattoo artist Dave Walker. Etched into her skin are the names of 14 women – all mothers of her ex-boyfriends and lovers. Some she’s never even met. The reactions online were immediate and are split between fascination, disapproval and disbelief. (Pictures: Harriet Richardson)
Harriet Richardson (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Harriet has built a reputation for turning personal experiences into performance art. ‘You could draw a line through most of my projects and find them founded in anger. Revenge. Fury,’ she told the Independent. This time, though, her aim was to explore ideas of intimacy, control and the way society divides women into two overarching archetypes – those who are idealised (the ‘Madonna’) and those who are used and discarded (the ‘wh***’). (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Harriet Richardson (Picture: Emily Lomas)
The idea for the piece began at the Edinburgh Fringe, surrounded by male comedians she jokingly calls ‘divinely irritating’. ‘I have genuinely started to believe that God put them on the earth to annoy ideas out of me,’ she said. One such idea led to her livestreaming 100 speed dates in 16 hours on Valentine’s Day. That experience made her think about emotional limits and public vulnerability. (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Harriet Richardson (Picture: Emily Lomas)
With ‘Temporary’, her body represents the idea of a ‘disposable’ woman, while the mothers’ names stand for respect and legacy. ‘I was very conscious not to use men’s names,’ she says. ‘The women who raised them are more important to me than the men themselves.’ (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Harriet Richardson (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Tracking down the names wasn’t all that easy, mind. Some came from memory and old social media accounts. One required messaging an ex who’d ghosted her, casually asking about his mum’s name. For the last two, she even hired a private investigator, insisting that only legal methods were used. (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Harriet Richardson (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Once the list was complete, she went to Walker’s studio with photographer Emily Lomas, who documented the process. The tattoo stayed private for six months before she decided to post it. ‘I was a bit hesitant,’ she says. ‘But somewhere along the way, I thought no, I’m really proud of it.’ (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Harriet Richardson (Picture: Emily Lomas)
Her exes reacted in different ways – one sent a clapping emoji, another just a smiley face. Harriet found the responses amusing. ‘It’s so symbolic of those relationships,’ she says. As far as she knows, none of the mothers are aware their names are now on her body. Well, at least they weren’t before Harriet’s work began to get traction online, anyway. (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Harriet Richardson (Picture: Emily Lomas)
For Richardson, who describes herself as ‘sex and love addicted’, the tattoo also acts as a kind of rule. Anyone new she dates must know about it and share their mother’s name before things become physical. ‘It means they see the real me quickly,’ she says. (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Harriet Richardson (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Online, opinions have been mixed. Some call the tattoo bold and empowering, others say it’s attention-seeking. Harriet’s response is blunt: ‘It was my choice. There’s nothing more feminist than a woman making a choice about her own body.’ (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Harriet Richardson (Picture: Harriet Richardson)
Her own parents’ reaction to the ink has been fairly pragmatic. ‘You’re 30, it’s your body, you can do what you want,’ her mum told her, before adding, ‘I don’t want to see it.’ Harriet laughs about it now but says the project gave her closure. ‘I regret some of the relationships. But I’ll never regret the tattoo. It’s so cool.’ Looking back, she sees it as a way of moving on. ‘It feels like I’m closing a chapter,’ she says. ‘I forgive a lot of the people on the list. I’m not angry anymore. I’m sure I’ll find something else to be angry about soon…’ (Picture: Harriet Richardson)

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