Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.
This week we hear from Blair*, a 26-year-old marketing specialist who has been in a happy relationship for three years.
She actually lost her virginity to her current partner, Luke, and the pair now have sex five times a week on average.
While she has no plans for kids or taking the next step, Blair is focused on making sure they keep things interesting in the bedroom.
‘My sex life is active, fun, and spontaneous, and I’m always falling deeper in love with Luke,’ she says.
So, without further ado, here’s how Blair got on this week…
The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.
Monday
I’m up bright and early and head out to the office, but the day goes quickly.
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We’re both extremely tired from work when we get home, so we don’t have sex tonight. Luke still keeps his arms around me the whole night, almost as if he’s apologetic, but I never mind.
I was a virgin when I met Luke, and when we first started talking about having sex, we always made sure the other person was comfortable. I’d never be upset if there was something he didn’t want to do, and the same goes for him.
When we did have sex for the first time, I was always shy, and was worried that I was doing everything wrong, but he was patient and always talked me through it (literally).
I wanted him to be my first because he’s my first real relationship, and I trust him like I’ve never trusted anyone else. Personally I’d have regretted it if I lost my virginity to someone for the hell of it.
Even when we don’t have sex, I feel that his warmth and company is more than enough. We light a few candles and fall asleep to Sinatra.
Tuesday
The day starts off slow, we only have time for some kisses this morning before we have to head to work.
After 5pm, Lucas comes home with some great news from work – he’s getting a pay rise. Obviously, he’s in a great mood, which means one thing leads to another.
Before we even have dinner we start going at it. He starts kissing me and I push him down, get on top and start riding him. It’s very passionate.
Once we’re done, we can’t help ourselves and go back for round two.
This time we 69 and he’s giving me oral and worshipping me for what feels like the whole night. I almost feel like I’m the one getting the raise!
We take a shower afterwards, eat a very late dinner and head to sleep.
Wednesday
It’s another slow morning for both of us, because we’ve been missing each other so much while work has been busy.
He went down on me in the early hours of this morning, nice and slowly. I always enjoy getting oral from him, he knows my weak spots and just how to drive me over the edge.
We both practically skip out the door to work, and I spend my meetings distracted thinking about getting home to Luke.
Once we’re both home we can’t contain ourselves, and we both strip off naked at my request and have a make out session.
We move things to the bed and Luke takes the initiative, tying me up, since we’re both in the mood for something fun and flirty.
He uses rope to bind both hands behind my back, and takes me from behind. We always climax this way because it’s so erotic to us both.
It takes me back to when we first started experimenting in the bedroom, and we both ended up with a bunch of love bites. We both love giving and receiving them because it’s our way of claiming each other.
It makes me blush seeing my marks on him – it shows me that he’s truly mine.
Thursday
After a long day at work, we decide to just watch a movie for the night and drink some wine. Tonight, it’s Inception.
We’re definitely the couple that asks each other copious questions during a movie; but it’s moments like those that make me feel grateful.
I sometimes feel the conversations we have are much more intimate than sexy time.
He ends up giving me a back massage and kissing my neck while we’re on the sofa, but we’re so tired we decide to call it a night. We’re in silent agreement that there won’t be any sex tonight.
Friday
A friend of ours tells us that she’s expecting a boy over lunch.
In our group, we are the only couple that doesn’t have children, and I’ve realised we’ve never actually had a conversation about it, even after three years together.
Before Luke, I never imagined I’d ever have a man in my life, or that I would be sexually active before the age of 40.
My upbringing in a conservative Arab household made me scared to consider the possibility of having a family of my own.
My parents were in an arranged marriage, and very old school. I thought every relationship I would ever encounter would be like theirs – devoid of love and companionship.
In the car ride home, Luke asks what my thoughts are about us being the only couple in the group to not have children. I tell him about how my parents’ relationship affected the way I view having a family.
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Luke reassures me that whether I decide to have a child or not, he would still be there for me. He has always felt indifferent about having children, too. As it stands, we don’t plan on having children any time soon, but if something changes, we will have that conversation when the time comes.
Hearing those words from him heals something in me and it definitely makes me want him passionately.
Back home, our make out session turns into me getting on top and spelling out just how much I appreciate his words with my hips.
We both climax with me on top, and fall asleep shortly after.
Saturday
We wake up slowly and drink each other in as we embrace. It becomes more sensual and we begin having sex in missionary – it’s slow and sweet.
We have plans to go out with friends but decide to cancel them to stay cooped up in bed – it’s different to doing some shopping at an outlet or socialising like usual.
We end up having sex before and after dinner, both times on the living room floor. Firstly, Luke takes me from behind, and then after dinner when we’re full we have sex while spooning.
I think I’m still reeling from the conversation we had the other night about kids, because I decide to give him oral for what feels like hours.
I want him to feel good and keep showing just how much I appreciate him. Luke is the first man who has ever made me feel safe, and it’s almost like I’m obsessed with him. In the past, I have had flings where I felt inadequate, or that the men I felt strongly for didn’t reciprocate what I felt.
With Luke, our feelings are entirely mutual. We often joke that we’re like Morticia and Gomez, obsessed with each other and always wanting more.
I feel like physical contact between us, no matter what it is, is non-negotiable for our daily routines.
Sunday
It’s a lazy morning for us. Luke wakes me up with a kiss and we decide to take a shower together, feeling each other up under the running water.
I’ve always loved that he takes control, not only in the bedroom, but through the most mundane tasks. The way he’s more than willing to towel dry my hair without me having to ask makes me blush like a teenager.
I call him my gentle giant – he’s 6’2 but the image of him braiding my hair in the bathroom mirror makes me chuckle.
We lay in bed for the rest of the day as I read my book and he plays video games.
He reminds me what true love is every day.
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