Meet the Dads behind Pints & Ponytails — London’s ‘antithesis to the manosphere’

‘When we first sat down, the energy in the room was very noisy. But 90 minutes in or so, everyone got quiet – and it opened up the door for people to have some pretty big moments.’

A few weeks ago, videos began circulating online of a group of dads sitting around a table in a London pub, learning how to braid hair.

Kickstarted by best friends Mathew Carter, 37, and Lawrence Price, 42, Pints & Ponytails was never just about hair, but giving men a safe space to share their experiences of fatherhood.

Becoming new dads at the same time, both Mat and Lawrence struggled with their mental health following the births of their children.

‘As dads, we felt as though there wasn’t the space to come forward and talk about what we were going through,’ Mat tells Metro.

‘I think we’re seeing a real seismic shift in fatherhood now. There’s a lot being asked of dads, in terms of emotional availability and emotional vocabulary that hasn’t been passed down from previous generations.’

So, hoping to create a ‘dad network’, the pair launched this workshop – eager to give ‘dads who only nod at each other at the school gate’ a chance to learn a new skill and build connections.

The format is simple: 20 or 30 men meet in pubs across London, enjoy a pint or two, and learn how to do their daughters’ hair, with styles ranging from simple pigtails to intricate plaits.

The tutorials are led by hair stylist collective Braid Maidens, and the men are invited to chat as they learn, without prompts or forced discussions.

The pair have hosted three events so far, with the fourth scheduled for April 3.

Tickets are £35 each, and they’re not easy to come by, after a video of the first meet-up was viewed by more than 25 million people.

In a bizarre turn of events, one of those people was self-proclaimed misogynist Andrew Tate, who publicly questioned the masculinity of the men taking part.

Both girl dads, Mat and Lawrence, have since proudly stated that the men they’ve interacted with during this process are the ‘antithesis of the manosphere’, adding that the second workshop sold out in under 10 minutes.

They’ve now got plans to launch events across the UK, and with fans on social media asking for workshops for different hair types, there are no signs of the movement slowing down.

‘We want to shine a positive light on dads’

Mat and Lawrence have been best friends for a decade. Mat is the godfather to Lawrence’s son, and Lawrence had the honour of officiating Mat’s wedding.

The two men grew even closer after they both became dads, supporting each other as they battled with mental health issues.

Mat was diagnosed with postnatal depression (PND) during his first year of fatherhood, sharing that he ‘didn’t feel that instant bond everyone promises’ when his daughter was born.

He continues: ‘From the outside, it looked like I had everything I should’ve wanted, but internally I felt disconnected, not just from her but from my wife too — like I wasn’t really part of the team.

‘I threw myself into running long distances, marathons, anything to outrun what I couldn’t quite understand. It wasn’t until I found a small line buried deep in a Google search, somewhere beyond the first few pages, that said dads can experience postnatal depression too, that everything clicked’.

Similarly, Lawrence began experiencing chronic anxiety within the first couple of years of becoming a dad and had his first-ever panic attack during a professional engagement.

For him, struggling to understand how to ‘add value at home, with so much of the emphasis on mother and the baby’ he decided to throw himself into work, wanting to ‘provide security and bridge any financial gaps for our newly purchased house and growing family needs.

‘The net result was saying yes to every job that came my way. Travelling to and from London and the length and breadth of the country in order to be the strong father figure I felt I needed to be. Whilst my mind felt focused on this approach, in asking for more and more physical and emotional output from my body, I ended up defaulting my nervous system into an upregulated sympathetic state’.

Following his anxiety attack, Lawrence embarked on a journey of self-discovery, finding comfort in mindfulness and breathwork.

This combined experience ultimately prompted the duo to start a podcast, The Secret Life of Dads, to try and gain a better understanding of the role dads play in shaping their children’s lives.

‘Brushing a small girl’s hair is an absolute nightmare’

Ed Trippier compares trying to tame his six-year-old daughter’s hair to ‘listening to white hot screams’.

The dad-of-two says he’s ‘always looking for more opportunities to be present in his kids’ lives’, which brought him to ‘Pints & Ponytails’.

‘I’m a big advocate of dad’s playing a bigger role,’ he tells Metro, adding that when dads do occasionally meet at the school gates, they typically operate strictly as ‘nodding acquaintances’.

But in reality, he adds, ‘The guy at the school gate is going through the same thing you are’.

In contrast, Ed enjoyed chatting freely at the event, adding that it was funny to see how ‘immensely proud’ each dad was of his work.

‘You’d be chatting with someone and then all of a sudden go “wow, your Elsa plait looks amazing mate!”‘

Ed’s brother, Alex Trippier, also went along to the workshop, and although his daughter is now 17 — more than old enough to do her own hair — he still found the evening enlightening.

Talking about the power of an event like Pints & Ponytails, Alex explained: ‘Mums want to connect with other mums, that network is natural and important. But outside of your kids’ best friends’ parents, there’s something quite sticky still about men being friends just because they’re both dads,’ he says.

‘So then, ultimately, mums do all the research, and then they get stuck with the mental load behind it. So anything that encourages dads to build relationships with other dads is awesome’.

A bonus is that they talk about other issues impacting men. Alex found himself next to a man who runs a charity for men with fertility problems, who shared that he’d struggled a lot with low sperm count.

At the end of each event, every dad is asked to write on a post-it note something they’re going to take away from the workshop.

Admitting this brought them to tears, Mat and Lawrence shared that one message from a dad read: ‘My daughter says my hands are too big, but tomorrow I’m going to show her a new skill I’ve learned’.

What a poetic ending.

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