My neighbour said hello – two hours later, I was in his bed

‘I’m coming!,’ sounded a deep voice behind my neighbour’s door as I tried to keep from giggling about the absurdity of my evening.  

As it opened, I saw that Patrick* was already half-naked, clearly eagerly ready for my arrival.

He ushered me inside with a smile and grabbed my hand, before leading me upstairs to his bedroom.

If you had told me earlier that day that I’d be shagging the man who lived across the road, I would have laughed in your face.

Patrick and I met while sunbathing on our respective rooftops on a heatwave summer a decade ago – throwing glances while we enjoyed our respective days. 

Soon enough, he shouted ‘Hello’ and asked me to come over for a neighbourly beer.

Even from the distance between our houses, I could tell that he was attractive and there was an immediate spark when I ventured over for a drink. 

We swapped numbers but I was still surprised when, a few hours later, he asked if I wanted to return for a nightcap.

I knew it was code for sex and I was game. 

Once Patrick’s housemate had gone to sleep, I snuck back to their flat for a get-together of a different kind.

Truth be told, the sex was bang average and we never hooked up again for that very reason. 

But this is still one of my favourite memories, because the entire experience was so unexpected – and I wish more of us were willing to embrace that spontaneity. 

I am a huge flirt because I love the thrill of not knowing what – or who – life might throw at you.

But I’ve personally found that flings are hard to come by ‘IRL’ these days; dating apps have pretty much taken over the hook-up scene.

I get it – I met my last two boyfriends on Tinder and I’ve used the app to score sex, too.

But it is difficult to build any real connection via a screen and you never truly know if you have a spark with someone until you’re face-to-face. 

More and more, people tell me about how they ‘wish they could meet someone offline’.

I’ve done both, and I know which are my treasured sexual memories. 

Caden* and I met at an awards show, many years ago, where we happened to be seated at the same table.

He was charismatic and funny, and looked hot as hell in his suit.

By the time the after-party rolled around, we were enamoured with each other.

So it was no surprise to my colleagues when they spotted us making out in a dark corner. 

And yes, the sex was fantastic – but not just because Caden knew his way around a woman’s body.

It was the built-up tension throughout the evening that really turned me on – the flirting, longing looks and casual touches that said ‘I fancy you’.

That’s pretty hard to recreate on an app. 

I also hadn’t expected to meet anyone at the event, so it was all the more exciting when I did.

Fate served up a good man with an excellent dick, and I happily accepted.

Another time, I was on my way into a festival and shamelessly flirted with the security guard, before slipping him my number. We dated for a few weeks but it ended after I found out he had a girlfriend that he had conveniently failed to mention. 

Or once I asked the bartender to pass on a note to a guy who was taking part in a round of speed dating on the other side of the pub I was in. We ended up going for a drink afterwards and had a hot makeout session.

And I can’t forget the night I shared a taxi with a handsome stranger when leaving a casino and ended up in his bed half an hour later – jackpot. 

The spontaneity and real-life encounters made these experiences all the more exciting. 

Not all of my romances worked out – clearly – but I have never had to wonder what if. 

In my humble opinion, while many factors have contributed to dating app fatigue, I actually think the biggest problem is fear of rejection or embarrassment.

We just don’t want to make tits of ourselves or – shock horror – get rejected face-to-face.

It’s far easier to hide behind our phones when facing potential rejection. 

I’ve made an arse of myself many times but these days, I just find it funny and accept that it’s the price you have to pay for the chance at great love – or sex.

And trust me, it has been worth it. 

To my fellow women – please don’t be afraid to go for it. The days of us waiting for men to make the first move are long gone.

I know men might feel like these days it’s harder to approach women for fear of looking like a creep.

But if you’re respectful, read the situation and accept the first ‘no’, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask someone out in person. 

Start by saying hi – and see where the magic takes you.

You never know what epic love or mind-blowing sex may come from it. 

*Names have been changed

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

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