The innocuous ‘unspoken rule’ men break on dates which women secretly hate

There are some things that are just downright off-putting on a date.

Take bad breath, for example, or being on your phone. Did we mention having to carry a conversation to avoid dreaded awkward silences?

But there’s one slightly less obvious date behaviour men are guilty of, and women secretly hate it.

The first date faux pas in question? When a man takes the comfy booth seat in a bar or restaurant, forcing a woman to sit on the less-comfortable chair.

This apparent gaffe is a hot topic of debate on TikTok, where one video alone racked up more than 24 million views.

‘It’s science… if he sits on the booth side it’s a red flag,’ Nicole Colunga said, while another added: ‘Unspoken rule: the booth side only belongs to the girls. I mean, where else would we put our bags?’

‘When my boyfriend brings a nice purse that he doesn’t want to set on the floor, he can have the booth,’ someone else agreed.

One restaurant hostess even said she ‘lowkey judges men who don’t at least offer the booth to their girl’, while another even branded it a man’s ‘duty’ to sit on the chair, dubbing it a ‘form of tax’.

Is taking the booth seat really that deep?

While some on TikTok argued this issue was being overblown, psychotherapist Eloise Skinner claims that a man offering the booth seat to his date may actually signal important green flag behaviours.

‘It could show an ability to exercise empathy and understanding, respect and care for the other person, a feeling of wanting to protect or take care of someone, and an ability to notice another person’s needs and try to meet them,’ Eloise tells Metro.

Others referred to it as ‘chivalrous’ behaviour on TikTok, and Eloise agrees, saying this type of behaviour is reminiscent of more dated ‘gentlemanly standards’.

‘Really the act of giving up the comfy seat just demonstrates values like respect, thoughtfulness and consideration, all of which relate to the idea of “a gentleman”,’ she adds.

The therapist explains that this simple action may be prized because we’re in an age where dating can feel so challenging, and many of our interactions exist online.

‘As a result, going on physical dates can have a much more intimate feel, and small actions that demonstrate consideration or intimacy can be powerful,’ Eloise says.

‘There could even be a sense of nostalgia associated with it, for a time where dating was perceived to be easier, or more enjoyable.’

Should it be a deal-breaker?

Essentially, it depends on your needs, and how you view your partner. There are plenty of women online who don’t actually care to have the booth seat, in which case, this whole argument is entirely redundant.

‘I don’t like it,’ one woman commented. ‘I feel like a toddler and the table it’s at a weird height for me always. I prefer the chair.’

‘I personally love sitting on a chair to hang my purse,’ added another.

Of course, if this is your view, it shouldn’t have any bearing on your relationship. But if the booth seat is your favourite, and it’s not the only thing your partner doesn’t consider, then it’s food for thought.

‘If it’s part of a broader pattern of behaviour that indicates the person is focused more on their own needs, or doesn’t have the ability to consider the needs of others, it might be that the person is not ready for a relationship,’ Eloise says.

‘But if your connection is generally good, it might be worth discussing it with them, as it’s possible they didn’t notice and would be happy to adopt a different habit.’

But Eloise also recommends getting introspective about why not getting the booth seat really bothers you.

‘If it’s connected to a deeper value or meaningful preference, then it could be a deal-breaker for you, but question whether it truly matters,’ she adds.

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