The phrase ‘reaching out’ makes your work emails look desperate — here’s what to say instead

There’s something about composing a work email that can turn even the most self-assured employee into a socially awkward mess.

Even once you do muster the courage to hit send, you run the risk of being ghosted, an issue that’s no less traumatising in the office than it is on Hinge.

But our overwhelming need to be well-received often ends up having the opposite effect, as we all end up using the same clichéd expressions.

In a recent ZeroBounce study, which examined over one million work emails, ‘reaching out’ was found to be the most popular buzzword, with a hefty 6,117 messages featuring the phrase.

On the surface, this seems professional, or at least inoffensive (compared to hated jargon like ‘synergy’ or ‘blue sky thinking anyway).

According to the experts though, it’s actually making you look a little bit pathetic.

Communication coach Frankie Kemp, says the phrase is both ambiguous and ‘tinged with desperation’ — a combination that’s unlikely to stand out in a crowded inbox.

Instead, Frankie encourages professionals to stick to the basics, telling Metro: ‘If you’re selling your services, I’d definitely ditch it. “Reaching out’ makes you sound vanilla.” 

‘Speak plain English. We prefer that in the noise of jargon.’

The same goes for follow up emails such as ‘Thanks for reaching out!’. Is it really necessary? No. Is it at all helpful? Definitely not.

Fellow communication coach Scarlett McCabe agrees.

‘The phrase ‘reaching out’ has become a crutch for avoiding straightforward communication,’ the CEO and founder of Debate Mate tells Metro. ‘Most people use it, so you’re not going to stand out in a negative sense, but you should question what you’re trying to achieve.’

In her experience, people often use this term when they need something but feel uncomfortable being direct.

Scarlett explains: ‘They think it softens the ask and makes them seem less demanding, when really it just adds unnecessary padding to what should be a clear request.”

Four in ten Brits have admitted that they actively avoid tough discussions. In fact, our obsession with politeness and formalities is probably why we perform email monologues rather than just asking for what we want.

Despite the fact many of us are guilty of ‘reaching out’ though, being on the receiving end can still grind our gears.

On Reddit, a thread dedicated solely to a collective hatred of the phrase received over 1,200 comments.

‘Reach out makes me convulse,’ one user wrote, while another added, ‘Why use ‘reach out’? Are they drowning?’

That’s not the only workplace patter that’s haunting us either. Buzzwords were found in 1 in 50 of the emails scanned by ZeroBounce.

‘Reaching out’ was the most overused by far, featuring in 6,117 messages – thousands more than the likes of ‘circle back’ or ‘e-meet’, which often receive flack.

To work out if it’s really as hated as those other offenders, Frankie took a straw poll among her LinkedIn connections and newsletter subscribers, with 50% on LinkedIn saying they strongly disliked the usage, compared to just 13.3% of newsletter readers.

If that’s now left you with the fear about how to word your emails though, Scarlett recommends remembering that ‘being polite and being direct aren’t mutually exclusive.’

Instead of ‘reaching out’, opt for phrases such as ‘I’m writing to ask about’ or ‘I have a question about.’

This ‘shows confidence and respects everyone’s time,’ Scarlett adds.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.