Before Kierra Taylor became a mum, she was a nanny for other people’s children. And she’s always operated around the same mentality: ‘f*** around and find out.’
For her, that’s always meant one thing: what she calls ‘natural consequences.’ If her son, 11-month-old Leo, pulls her hair, she’ll gently pull it back. If he doesn’t like what she’s made him for dinner, that’s the only option that’ll be appearing on the table that night; no easy alternatives.
She’s also spent the past year teaching her son how to use the staircase independently, as she doesn’t believe in baby gates, and there are no other contraptions baby-proofing the cupboards in their kitchen, besides the one that’s stocked with toxic cleaning chemicals.
All in all, she believes that parenting is too ‘soft’ these days.
She says: ‘I feel like why are we coddling babies and creating humans who are afraid to fall. We need to be creating strong people and I’m sorry I fully believe this generation is, in the most respectful way, too soft.’
For her, the FAFO method is about nurturing children who are ‘highly independent and strong,’ right from the beginning.
In her view, two-year-olds who aren’t ‘afraid to fall off the high platform at the park’ won’t be ‘afraid to soar later in life.’
‘I don’t understand the side eyes I get,’ Kierra, who lives in Alberta, Canada, says.
‘I understand it’s not for everyone, a lot of people see it as neglect or that I’m not taking care of my kid.
‘I see it as the power to explore things on their own.’
Likewise, she’s not ‘constantly running at him’ to keep away from the stairs because ‘then he’ll not want to go down the stairs anymore.’
Along with her partner, 26-year-old labourer Ethan, she describes herself as ‘very stubborn’ and ‘willing to learn’ from her mistakes, time and time again.
‘I believe from a very young age I do not need to tell my son he’s going to not like bonking his head on the coffee table, he’ll figure it out for himself,’ she says.
‘It’s how I’ve always lived and how I’ve seen fit to raise my son.’
Baby gates aren’t the only aversion Kierra has. Since he was six months old, Leo has slept in a twin-sized floor bed – and he’s able to climb in and out by himself. They’re also in the process of teaching him that their cat’s litter box isn’t ‘a toy,’ and not to play with it.
‘We have boxes that are square with a very big lid on top and a hole with a door inside it,’ she adds.
‘He sticks his feet on the platform door at the front, hoists himself up top of the box and will sometimes lower himself into the hole, most times launch himself over the chair.
‘A lot of times it’s to get access to the back of the chair, but every time he goes near it, we keep an eye and correct it if he’s sticking his hand in the box.’
Every time the fridge is open, Leo will usually come over to it, and while the couple keep their eggs on the bottom shelf, they’re simply teaching him not to touch them rather than moving them out of the way.
Because, in Kierra’s view, if he picks them up and drops them, he’ll ‘learn not to do it again.’
‘We’ve had a few broken eggs because of that but it is what is. I’d rather him learn those things now than later on,’ she says.
‘I also find he’s less likely going to want to do things he’s not supposed to do with regular access because it’s not exciting anymore.’
Kierra shares her parenting advice on TikTok, and she’s encountered all manner of opinions about her approach. Some people have said she should ‘go and be a mom instead of making videos.’
‘I’m not neglecting my child to make videos, he’s always safe,’ she says.
‘90% of the time he’s sleeping and the other 90% they are videos captured in the moment whilst we’re doing things.’
Above all, though, Kierra’s parenting technique is about letting go.
‘Let children explore their bodies and surroundings. They’re smart, they’ll figure it out,’ she concludes.
‘When you let go of fear yourself, it shows kids you’re not fearful and they don’t have to be fearful.’
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