We’re a throuple raising three kids together — it makes our parenting better

By parenting as a team, Eric Blackcloud II, 40, Tatyana Brown, 33, and Lexi Bowman, 26, ensure there’s always have a spare pair of hands when needed.

But although the throuple are ‘inseparable’ and their three kids are supportive, not everyone in their lives is on board.

The polyamorous trio live under one roof with Oliver, 13, Sage, 7, and five-year-old Naiomi, sharing bills, childcare and household duties between them.

It wasn’t always this way though, with Lexi only coming into the fold last summer.

Eric, who works in pest control, and tattoo artist Tatyana first met 11 years ago, starting out as friends before falling in love.

After Tatyana opened up about being bisexual, the couple decided to cautiously explore non-monogamy.

It was round about this time Tatyana reconnected with dog groomer Lexi, who she’d met previously. And while their bond was platonic initially, within a month the women had forged a ‘deeper connection’.

‘After taking another month to talk openly and make sure everyone felt secure, the three of us agreed to explore a relationship together,’ says Tatyana, from San Diego, California.

‘Lexi now lives with us full time while maintaining her own space for work.’

Becoming a throuple raised eyebrows for some, but Tatyana says the ‘mixed’ reaction was mostly what they expected.

‘On Lexi’s side, her mom wasn’t shocked by polyamory itself, but she was protective about the age difference and wanted to make sure her daughter was surrounded by healthy influences,’ she explains.

‘Over time, after spending holidays together and seeing how our home functions, her family became much more comfortable. What mattered most to them was that Lexi was happy and safe.’

However, the situation is still ‘evolving’ for Eric’s family, and his mum has found it especially difficult to adjust to the new dynamic.

Tatyana continues: ‘On my side, my mother wasn’t surprised, as this isn’t the first time we’ve explored polyamory.

‘Her main concern was always the children. But once she saw the stability, comfort, and normalcy in our home, that eased. She and Lexi have even formed their own friendly connection.’

The trio have also lost friendships along the way, although some who were unsure at first have come round ‘after seeing that this wasn’t chaos or impulsivity, but a thoughtful relationship structure.’

Day-to-day life as throuple parents

When it comes to their home life, responsibilities are shared, with Tatyana leading in the kitchen, Lexi taking care of the garden, and Eric handling heavier maintenance.

School runs and homework are managed by Tatyana and Lexi, but finances are a shared responsibility — and they’re in the process of ‘formalising that even further’ with a joint account.

‘We each take ownership of one core area that keeps the household functioning smoothly, but overall, we operate as a team toward shared goals rather than assigning strict roles,’ says Tatyana.

‘We also include our children in this structure, as we believe part of being a family is learning how to contribute and support one another.’

They were keen to make the transition of introducing Lexi to the kids a smooth one, so took things slowly and kept meet-ups as ‘normal’ as possible.

Tatyana explains: ‘It wasn’t framed as a big announcement or major event; she was simply someone coming by in a friendly setting.

‘She interacted with them naturally, asked about their interests, and let them guide the energy. There was no expectation placed on the children to immediately bond or react in a certain way.

‘Over time, as she showed up consistently and calmly, their comfort grew organically.’

It paid off, as when they told the kids they were getting an extra parent, they handled it ‘better than expected’.

‘Oliver, being older, was naturally more observant and asked thoughtful questions, but his main concern was whether anything would change in terms of stability or attention,’ says Tatyana.

‘Once he understood that the structure of our home wasn’t changing and that he wasn’t losing time with either parent, he was comfortable.

‘Sage and Naiomi were much more focused on whether Lexi would be around to do fun things with them… It was curiosity followed by acceptance.’

Polyamorous partners get jealous too

Like any relationship, they admit jealousy has surfaced, with Tatyana saying it was more common at the beginning when they didn’t have ‘a structured check-in system’.

‘It wasn’t explosive, but it showed up in subtle ways, mostly around time and attention,’ she continues.

‘When Eric returned to working full-time and Lexi and I had more flexible schedules, we realised that the imbalance in availability was creating tension. That was a turning point for us.

‘Instead of ignoring it, we treated jealousy as information. We sat down and had honest conversations about time-sharing, finances, and what each of us needed to feel secure.’

Alongside check-ins, private space and shared routines, one of the things that helped was building common hobbies. The throuple began playing Pokémon GO together, while scheduling in both family time and date nights so things never fell by the wayside.

Tatyana says: ‘For us, jealousy hasn’t been about ownership. It’s been about unmet needs or lack of communication.

‘Once we learned how to address those directly, it became much less intimidating. Now it’s something we face together instead of something that divides us.’

In fact, she believes the relationship has made her more ’emotionally accountable’ — and even strengthened her bond with Eric.

‘If I’m off, it affects more than one person, so I’ve had to learn how to communicate in real time instead of internalising things,’ says the mum-of-three.

‘There’s also a different kind of support. I don’t feel like I have to carry the entire emotional weight of my partner’s happiness alone, and he doesn’t carry mine alone either.

‘Parenting also feels less overwhelming, because there’s always someone ready to step in with love or energy when another person is depleted.’

Although she doesn’t find life easier now, Tatyana does say it ‘feels fuller’ since Lexi came along.

She adds: ‘We aren’t trying to represent every polyamorous relationship. We’re simply showing what ours looks like when it’s built on structure, accountability, and care for the children at the centre of it.’

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