I’m feeling weak at the knees, my pulse is racing, and I’m experiencing unimaginable pleasure — who’s caused this? A sexy gay man, of course.
Jonathan Bailey has been crowned People Magazine’s 2025 Sexiest Man Alive, making history as the first openly gay man to be awarded the title.
And I for one applaud whoever made this decision. A massive thank you also goes to the individual who suggested pairing such a ‘wickedly handsome and oh-so-charming man’ with a pedigree puppy on the front cover. A stroke of genius.
In 2025, the Fiyero actor is yet another example of how gay men are carrying the weight of women’s orgasms on their shoulders right now.
From sexy priests (hi, Andrew Scott) to brooding Bridgerton brothers, we’re focusing our full and undivided attention on these well-groomed and gorgeously-scented men.
Of course, the likes of Benito Skinner, Coleman Domingo and Wentworth Miller are all objectively very hot, so maybe the girlies just have great taste? But I think there’s more going on here.
Women feel more connected to gay men
A Vogue article by Chante Joseph went viral after confirming something we’d all been thinking: having a boyfriend is embarrassing.
And while her piece focused mainly on the steps women have been taking to hide their relationship from social media, the entire conversation is reflective of a much bigger issue: straight men have lost their allure.
It’s perhaps no surprise that in a world where Donald ‘grab them by the p*ssy’ Trump is President, where women’s abortion rights continue to be questioned and tech billionaires continue to exist, women are turned off by the Alpha Male stereotype, and looking for an alternative.
Psychotherapist and relationship coach Lucy Beresford tells Metro: ‘There is a feeling that a woman will be heard and seen in a relationship with a gay man, in a way that they won’t be in a relationship with a heterosexual guy who might not be as emotionally literate.’
The female gaze admires men who subvert the classic masculine tropes — take Andrew Scott, as Fleabag’s hot priest. Created by the iconic Phoebe Waller Bridge, we were introduced to a particular formula: a straight male character, played by a gay man, in a piece of work written by a woman.
‘This package is a woman’s version of the ideal man,’ says Lucy. ‘They’re hot, but they’re not brutishly male,’ Lucy explains.
The perception is that gay men might watch the same films as you, listen to the same music, and have the same cultural references. ‘What contemporary women are resisting is the type of masculinity that can break your heart,’ adds Lucy.
Gay men still reap benefits from the patriarchy
Gender-based violence continues to be a massive fear for women worldwide. Recent findings from the Femicide Census revealed that the rate of men’s fatal violence against women in the UK has not shown a tangible decline since 2009.
Metro spoke with João Florêncio, a queer cultural scholar who says the perceived threat of violence — or lack there of — could be another reason for women’s romantic attachment to gay men.
‘There are straight women who consume and produce gay male homosexual content, such as gay male porn,’ he explains, saying that this content shows ‘gender-based power imbalances’ which aren’t as strong.
‘It allows straight women to explore and enjoy their desire for men without having to potentially deal with perceived gender-based violence,’ João continued.
However, this also isn’t totally straight forward. ‘Gay men are still men,’João emphasises, and they’re not without fault.
‘Some women may gravitate toward gay men for a question of safety, with gay men being perceived as not sexually threatening, as not having ulterior sexual motives to relate to women.
‘Yet, gay men still reap benefits of patriarchal society in ways that may not be accounted for in some women’s fantasy of what a gay man is.’
Fetishising any sexuality is not okay
Sexy or not, it’s not okay for anyone to fetishise an entire group of people.
For years now, straight men have generalised, sexualised, and ostracised lesbian and bisexual women.
In pop culture, lesbians are used as a plot device to satisfy the sexual needs of the male protagonists. In one essay exploring misogyny for queer women, one writer noted how it often feels like bisexual women ‘are useful for threesomes but not seen as a regular identity.’
And it’s a similar story for gay men. In pop culture you often see straight cis women ‘collecting’ gay men — slicing off the elements of queer culture that they enjoy and using the gay bff trope to heighten their social status.
And sometimes gay men participate in this trend themselves, gathering their very own group of ‘hags’ to bolster their ego.
‘Gender is organised in patriarchy,’ João notes. ‘Whether straight cis women “collect” gay men or whether gay men “collect” “f*g-hags”, what both stereotypes show is power leaning towards men either by women being wrong in collecting gay men, or by them being just accessories in a gay man’s social life.
‘I think that if we are to talk about straight cis women stereotyping gay men, we should also talk about gay men stereotyping straight cis women. If, through that, strategic political allegiances can be forged, then I have no problem with it.’
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