He turned my solo trip into a romantic holiday – then vanished

Sitting on my bed at home in Camden, I summoned the courage to phone Felix* – but there was no answer.

I started to anticipate the worst.

It was October 2018, the night before my flight to New York for my solo birthday trip.

After just a handful of dates, Felix seemed keen on me – so keen, in fact, that on our third date he’d confidently invited himself along to New York.

The spontaneity was great, but my last message to him had been left on read, which was out of character. And now he wasn’t picking up his phone.

I wasn’t entirely sure if Felix was going to be at Heathrow the next morning as planned; and, feeling confused, I assumed he had got cold feet.

Sure enough, Felix vanished into thin air.

I had psyched myself up to download Bumble the previous month; I’d been single throughout most of 2018 and it had been over a year since I’d used a dating app. I’d heard good things about Bumble, so I took the plunge.

Soon, I matched with Felix, a cute German project manager who was new to London. He was well-travelled, funny and intelligent – and we clicked.

We quickly arranged a brunch date in Hampstead Heath, during which we enthusiastically traded stories about travelling and living abroad.

The dates with Felix were wholesome. Rather than just getting drunk like my previous app dates, he wanted to meet up for coffee, or lunch or dinner. It was a nice, novel change and I chalked this up to him being nine years older.

I was enjoying getting to know him; and when he revealed – on the first date! – that he was keen to find something meaningful, I thought I had hit the jackpot. I wasn’t getting too swept up in thinking about the future – it was still early days – but so far, so good, I thought.

My New York trip came up on our third date. Felix literally jumped out of his seat, exclaiming that he’d always wanted to go. ‘How do you feel about me gatecrashing your trip to New York?!’, he asked.

I was thrilled; this could be fun!

A few days later, I was invited round to his flat for dinner. I was excited to see his natural habitat and as he was grabbing me a drink, he told me he had booked his flights to JFK.

Initially, I didn’t believe him and laughed it off, but he looked deadly serious as he waved the glowing British Airways flight confirmation in my face.

I admired his integrity; he had kept his word.

My friend Layla* thought it was epic: ‘How fun! He’s as adventurous as you. Felix seems like a good match’, she said.

I agreed and was genuinely looking forward to going away with Felix. At this point, it was difficult not to imagine a future with him; things seemed promising.

Three days before the holiday, Felix and I were messaging as normal – until he left my last message, asking what time he planned to meet me at Heathrow, on read.

I reasoned he was busy at work; it was a new job after all. But it wasn’t like him; especially when the day turned into evening and he still hadn’t replied.

I felt a pang of insecurity; I’d experienced empty promises from guys before.

Layla tried to calm my nerves, saying, ‘Don’t worry, he’ll reply soon, Anya. He’s not going to bail on a trip to New York!’

But when he didn’t answer his phone the night before our flight, my heart sank.

He hadn’t blocked me though, which made it even weirder.

As I made my way to Heathrow the next day, I checked my phone obsessively, but nothing. I messaged him when I was queueing at security, asking if he was still coming – but I knew in my heart he wouldn’t reply.

Even so, I scanned the plane’s rows of seats when I boarded; but there was no sign of Felix.

I was gutted.

My friend from university, Kirsty*, had moved to Manhattan, and we had always planned to meet up while I was there. She couldn’t believe the way in which I’d been ghosted and kindly cleared her schedule to make sure I had a fun birthday weekend with her and her friends.

Felix did cross my mind every day, but exploring New York was a welcome distraction.

Safe to say, I didn’t hear from Felix during or after my New York trip – but about a week later, I noticed his WhatsApp profile picture had been updated to him posing alone in front of the Statue of Liberty.

I was utterly shocked.

Unable to resist and needing answers, I sent him a sarcastic message asking him how his trip to the Big Apple was.

His reply was confusing: ‘It was great, but you are quite rude.’

I was stunned and sent a screenshot to Layla. She, too, was speechless. ‘So he ended up going to NYC? What does he mean by rude?’, she asked me immediately; but I had no idea. It surely went without saying that he was the weird one.

When I saw his message, I felt annoyed and wanted to confront him further, but I knew it was futile.

It felt empowering to hit the block button. I doubt Felix cared, but I didn’t need this confusing guy in my life.

My experience with Felix impacted my dating life for a while; I knew I had to be more cautious and remained on the lookout for empty promises.

I relaxed into dating again after a few months and my faith in the whole endeavour was eventually restored.

But the next time a guy suggested a trip so soon, I took it with a pinch of salt – this time, I wouldn’t believe it until I saw it.

*Names have been changed

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.