When Sarb Athwal finally summoned the extraordinary courage to write her letter to the police, she included every detail except her own name.
She wrote about the meeting she had witnessed, where her brother-in-law Sukhdave and his mother Bachan discussed arranging the murder of his wife Surjit. She wrote about their plan to carry it out on a trip to India. She even wrote about where in India they were taking her.
But she could not afford to tell them who was passing on this information, fearing the family and her wider community could find out and turn on her.
At the point that letter was sent to the police, Surjit was probably still alive. She had left the country with Bachan just a few days before, for what she had been told was a pair of family weddings.
Sarb knew the devastating truth about the trip – and when Bachan returned two weeks later without Surjit in December 1998, that truth was confirmed to her.
However, it would take almost 10 years for the rest of the world to learn what actually happened to Sarb’s sister-in-law. Her killing would ultimately prove to be one of the most notorious cases of ‘honour-based’ abuse in British history.
‘When Surjit managed to get a job, she became her own person. She was earning good money. She was quite respected at work at Heathrow as a customs officer,’ Sarb told Metro.
‘You know, when you go to work, you’re invited to parties, Christmas dos, meetings outside work, bits and pieces.
‘The family always tried stopping her, saying this isn’t the job we want you to do. You don’t need to need a job. Just stay at home and raise the kids, be a daughter-in-law. And Surjit did not want that.’
Other people at their gurdwara in Hayes, west London, started complaining about Surjit’s behaviour, Sarb said, and her mother-in-law felt her honour was at stake.
Eventually, Bachan called the family meeting to decide what was to be done with her.
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It is not known what happened to the unsigned letter containing the details of that meeting when it arrived at the police station.
But when the missing persons investigation began in 1999 and Sarb told officers what she had written, they said there was no trace of it. Another police investigation was opened after she had made her statement, but it was later closed with no further action.
Sarb endured another seven years living with the people she knew were responsible for the death of her sister-in-law.
The turning point came when she ended up in hospital, seriously ill from a stomach ulcer. Worried she may not live, she told her dad the truth about what happened to Surjit.
He gave the information to the police, and this time the case was passed to Metropolitan Police Detective Chief Inspector Clive Driscoll – an expert in cold cases, best known as the man who finally secured convictions for the murder of Stephen Lawrence.
‘When I met with him, this is seven years later. This is the third investigation,’ said Sarb.
‘It shouldn’t take three investigations to believe one person. I was a victim in all of that, I was a victim in all of that trying to keep myself safe.’
With her trust in police gone completely, she asked her dad to tell DCI Driscoll what she had said in the hospital – but he insisted she tell her story to the police officer herself.
‘I said, “I wrote a letter to my local police station,”‘ Sarb recalled.
‘And he said, “Where’s that letter?” Everyone keeps going on about the letter. I don’t know where the letter is. I wrote it, and the police didn’t believe me.’
Two days later, Driscoll came back with news. He had gone through boxes and boxes of files and found something without a name or signature. Could she help them identify who it may be from?
‘That was my letter. And I said, that it’s a letter I wrote in 1998 when Surjit was still alive. That letter was put in that box, some officers picked it up and just left it there.’
In September 2007, Bachan Athwal and Sukhdave Athwal were sentenced to life imprisonment for their roles in Surjit’s death. It was the first ‘honour-based’ killing conviction in the UK where no body had been found.
Her body has still not been found. Sarb has since written a book called Shamed about the case.
Today, the UK government has set out new laws to help tackle ‘honour’-based abuse, including a new statutory definition.
The definition ‘will ensure professionals will work together to ensure more victims and protected and more perpetrators face justice’, Minister for Violence Against Women and Girls Jess Phillips said.
The Labour MP added: ‘There is no honour in ‘honour’-based abuse.
‘For too long, these devastating crimes have often been misunderstood and victims badly let down.’
The definition and a new power to issue statutory guidance are being introduced with amendments to the Crime and Policing Bill, which have been tabled today.
Sarb said the new definition represented a ‘good step forward’, but she also wanted to see broader education of the police to ensure nobody else is treated like she was.
She said: ‘The police need to understand it’s not the same as domestic abuse.
‘Domestic abuse is partner against partner, but in our community, it could be me against my husband, the community, my extended family, and so on. Police have to understand.’
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