‘I’m not scared,’ I kept repeating to myself in my head, as I summoned up the courage to let go of the pool edge.
The swimming instructor was busy helping another student and I felt too embarrassed to ask for one-on-one assistance, so I just clung on and just waited for the lesson to end. He didn’t help me once.
You might assume this is me recounting an experience that happened in my youth, but I was actually in my early 30s, and I had just decided to learn how to swim.
The thing is, it was never fear that held me back all these years from learning to do things like swim, ride a bike, or drive a car, but rather a lack of opportunity. Now I’m making up for lost time.
I came to the UK at the age of 10 from the Netherlands. Initially, my family and I were homeless and moved from one temporary accommodation to another.
As a result, I was always packing, always the new girl at school, and never lived anywhere long enough to settle roots and do typical things that most of my peers were doing.
On top of that, we didn’t have much money growing up and so my family wasn’t in the position to pay for a lot of extra curricular activities.
I had swimming lessons at school but they usually consisted of me wearing giant inflatable arm bands and watching from the sidelines.
As for riding a bike, I never did that because my mother didn’t know how to ride a bike and therefore couldn’t teach me. She was also preoccupied trying to ensure we had food on the table and a hot meal in our bellies every evening.
Then when I hit 16, I couldn’t afford driving lessons and my family didn’t have a car.
So by the time I ended up graduating from university and started working, there didn’t seem to be the right time or place for me to get my license. I also haven’t lived in any properties with parking spots and have managed to get by with public transport.
Throughout this time, I made jokes about the fact that there were many life skills I was yet to obtain. I used humour as a shield to cover up for what I thought were quite major shortcomings.
But it has affected me as an adult. I remember being in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil on Copacobana Beach and feeling lucky to experience such an amazing holiday, but it came with a pang of sadness since I was unable to jump into the water and swim like everyone around me.
I always knew, however, that I would one day learn. I built this ‘one day’ up in my head as the day that everything would be in order and I would have ‘made it’.
Then came a comment from a friend of a friend of a friend last year when I was 31 as we were discussing milestones: ‘You must learn how to swim because it is an important life skill.’
I swallowed the bad taste in my mouth at her words. While I knew she ultimately meant well, It felt almost like an attack. I didn’t choose not to be able to swim, just like I didn’t choose not to be able to ride a bike or drive a car.
So I decided to do something about it, aged 31.
At this point in my life I had more time, and different priorities that centred around development – such as upskilling myself both in my personal and professional life – and so I decided to make a change.
So I sat down one evening and booked driving lessons, swimming lessons, and started researching ‘first bikes for adults’.
I was really scared when I did my first swimming lesson, but as the lessons went on, they became much easier. Whilst I am no olympic swimmer as of yet – I am excited to go on my first beach holiday this year and show off my new skills.
I am proud to say that I am getting ever more confident in the water and I have my theory driving test fast approaching. My immediate goal is to be able to swim in the deep end, then maybe even a triathlon.
Learning to ride a bike has been slightly more difficult. A few weeks ago, I hesitantly sat on my best friend’s bike for the very first time, but I couldn’t control my giggles as I felt truly ridiculous.
I’m Dutch, I thought cycling would be an innate skill. For now, it’s still a skill I’m attempting to master.
Looking back through my journey, I have often thought about how, if you don’t gain certain skills at the ‘right’ age, then you miss the boat. As a result, many people are losing out on these important experiences due to a lack of accessibility.
There needs to be better programmes in place in the UK to get people swimming or riding a bike early. In some parts of America, driving lessons or ‘Drivers Ed’ as they call it is offered in schools although it varies significantly depending on state and district.
I would say, stop waiting for a magical period in your life when all of the stars align. And don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t achieve something.
It is never too late to learn a new life skill.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk.
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