I saw a mum and daughter bickering in front of me – it only brought me joy

‘Who’s that?’

In the row in front of me, I watched as a mum asked her daughter about a drag queen holding a microphone on stage, speaking to another performer.

‘It’s Tiara Skye, mum!’

‘Who’s Tiara Skye?’ 

The woman’s face looked puzzled as she turned to her husband and shrugged.

Sitting behind this family, with my friend, I chuckled. It was a typical interaction you would expect between a parent and child.

The sighs and eye rolls were all too familiar – I could have been at any gig in the world. 

But I wasn’t – this was the Trans Mission concert at OVO Wembley, and to be surrounded by trans, non-binary and gender-nonconforming people was incredible.

It was a fundraiser for Not A Phase – nationwide charity committed to improving the lives of trans people and the Good Law Project – an organisation that uses legal action to, in their words, fight against hate.

The mum in front of me was with her trans daughter.

Everywhere, trans joy was evident – and not even finding out a number of pathetic anti-trans voices had gone to the event could take away the euphoria in the room. 

I came across Trans Mission in a newsletter that I subscribe to. Seeing a poster with the ‘Sugababes’, ‘Kae Tempest’ and ‘Beth Ditto’, amongst many more, was always going to grab my attention. 

And an opening by Tom Rasmussen was not something I wanted to miss.

As someone who never says no to a dance, I jumped at the chance to attend, sharing the link to my group chats in excitement.

But it wasn’t just about dancing – it was a unique chance to support my community. All proceeds of the event was to go to Not A Phase and the Good Law Project.

In a time where trans solidarity is so desperately needed, this felt like the perfect moment to join my friends in joy and celebration. 

Walking into the venue, I bumped into multiple people I knew – trans people, queer people and allies, all buzzing like I was.

I was apprehensive to go at first – as a Muslim, I was fasting for Ramadan and standing up for that long felt overwhelming, but we were offered seats as we entered, since my friend was also finding it difficult to stand.

The staff and welfare team took care of us – we were given attention and assurance – making the entire space feel safe.

But there was also the ongoing controversy over Mighty Hoopla, who were involved in the running of this event, as their parent company invests in Israel. 

Likewise, one of the organisers last night was Olly Alexander, who performed at Eurovision despite many allies urging a boycott due to Israel’s participation.

I talked with my friend about the complexity of attending, when knowing all these facts. We acknowledged and understood where the money from this event was going – to Not A Phase and Good Law Project.

And I agree with the sentiment behind the controversy – no one is free, until all of us are free.

I decided to show up proudly with a Palestine t-shirt and I went to display my support for trans young people.

And I’m glad I did.

This was a chance for trans people to feel solidarity. 

Seeing Wembley Arena full of people showing up for my community – to see politicians, actors, performers, musicians, changemakers, all proudly supporting us – felt incredible.

Every good party has someone trying to kill the vibe, and this was no exception. We later found out that some of the UK’s most well-known gender critical voices had decided to attend and live-tweet the concert.

I don’t know what they expected, but what they would have seen were people, families, celebrities all showing up for, believing, and loving trans people. 

I suspect that these gender critical people would have ended up enjoying the acts – no one can actively dislike Sophie Ellis Bextor, after all. 

Because this wasn’t a protest, it was a much needed celebration.

Whether that was punching the air listening to Beth Ditto and then solemnly nodding when she told us that her 2006 hit Standing In The Way of Control was still unfortunately so relevant.

Or shouting for Kate Nash while she sang her pro-trans anthem GERM. 

But my eyes welled up when Munroe Bergdorf brought Caroline Litman on stage, to talk about her trans daughter, Alice, who should have been there but had tragically died waiting for gender affirming care.

Caroline talked about the incredible work by Transparent Action UK – an organisation of parents of trans people, united in equality.

I thought of the beloved trans young people I have lost along the way.

A tear fell, but it was in celebration of their lives. 

Looking back down at the family in front of me, I watched as the mum came back from getting some food, as the kid asked why she had taken so long and flapped her arms. 

It reminded me of my own family, and the love we share.

But it also made me reflect on the constant threats the world was facing.

When poet Kae Tempest spoke to us, their voice full of emotion, they said, ‘There is so much peace to be found in people’s faces.’ 

I felt it.

And when I looked around at the thousands of trans people and our allies, I found that peace.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

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