Whould you ever have sex with an ex? What if that ex was the person you were convinced you were going to grow old with?
This week’s reader has been struggling to move on from his last relationship for months, even though her decision to leave him for a different man broke his heart. In his eyes, that was the woman he was supposed to end up with. But then, she came knocking.
Check out our expert’s advice below, but before you go, take a look at last week’s dilemma, from a reader who thinks about her husband’s best friend in bed.
The problem…
I’ve never really got over the girl I was with for three years, who I thought I’d be with forever. We broke up in the summer of 2025 when she told me she had met someone else, and I was devastated. I just didn’t see it coming.
Despite the split, we stayed friends on social media and she often liked or commented on my posts, and vice versa. That little connection made me wonder if there was still something there.
Then, just after the New Year, she called me out of the blue and said she wanted to meet. I didn’t need asking twice and although we went out for dinner, we hardly ate a bite as it was clear we just wanted to get back to my place and bed. We’d barely got in the front door when we started ripping each other’s clothes off and things just got better from there.
The sex between us was amazing and it was as though we’d never been apart. She told me she wasn’t getting on with her new guy, and she felt she’d made a mistake going off with him. I would have forgiven her there and then if she’d said she wanted to come back to me, but she said it wasn’t that simple and she needed time to herself before leaping into another commitment.
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Hi, my name is Laura Collins, and every week I write Metro’s Sex Column.
I’ve been working in newspapers since completing my counselling training 30 years ago, and it’s always a privilege to help readers.
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The following morning, she seemed a bit distant and left me wondering what had just happened. A few hours later, I received a WhatsApp from her saying she was sorry, but she’d realised she still wanted to be with the other guy.
I broke down in tears and felt completely shattered. I’m so angry with myself for letting her get to me like that, and now I feel that just when I was getting used to life without her, I’m back to square one.
The advice
Please don’t be angry with yourself, or feel you did anything wrong. You had very strong feelings for this girl and in your situation, I bet most guys would have done the same thing.
Who knows what was going through her mind. Maybe she genuinely did have second thoughts, or perhaps she just wanted to prove she still had power over you and your emotions.
Either way, what she did was pretty awful. Whatever you think of the guy she went off with, she cheated on him when their relationship clearly wasn’t over, and that’s not a decent way to behave.
Block her on social media to help you make the clean break from her that you clearly need. And now that you’ve seen how deceitful she can be, use that knowledge to help you put everything into perspective. Would you really want to spend the rest of your life with a woman who could act like that?
Healing takes time, but eventually you’ll be able to look back on this experience and be glad you’re not with her. Put all your energies into finding a loving new partner, who’ll give you the sort of relationship you want.
Laura is a counsellor and columnist.
Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Laura.Collins@metro.co.uk.
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Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
