My fiance cheated – I sold the ring and made £8,000 profit

‘Noah* is cheating on you with Claire*. They went on holiday last week with their kids.’ 

Staring at my phone, I looked at the message Hannah* – my fiance’s ex-wife’s sister – sent me. I didn’t want to believe it. 

It was last summer. We had been together for three years – and engaged for one. He had been making both Claire and I believe he was committing to us, while lying to the other. 

In the end, he lost us both.

I felt devastated. 

I’d had a few days before he was coming back, so I had time to think about it. I wanted to wait until I could confront him face to face, and ended it when he came back.

Instead of wallowing in heartbreak, I sold my engagement ring for £8,000, buying myself a car and going on holiday with my friends.

It was the best decision I could have made. 

Noah and I met in a bar three years prior, and had been head over heels for each other ever since. I was in my early twenties, and he was a little older. He was handsome, and such a gentleman. I thought his age made him mature and that he had his life together. 

After two years of dating, he took me on a fancy weekend away in the forest, and asked me to marry him. It felt like a fairytale. 

I knew he had an ex-wife, and two sons, but he had always assured me Claire was in the past and they were only in contact for matters concerning their children. 

But I’d never met his sons, not once. Not even on the phone. I asked about meeting them, but he always said he wanted to introduce me at the right time for them. I respected that, but now it seems so obvious he never intended to have me be part of his life. 

What makes it hurt even more was we even started having serious conversations about trying for a baby. He didn’t want to wait. I worried about  being too young, and wanted to have the wedding first. But he reassured me, saying I would be a great mum and would look fabulous pregnant.

It had all started a week before Hannah’s message. Noah had told me he was going away on a business trip in Spain for a week, telling me he would have loved me to come, but it was ‘for work’. 

I spent the week messaging him, and looking forward to seeing him when he returned – no idea the next time I saw him, our relationship would be over. 

Hannah reached out to me when they were in Spain, and I saw photos. They had gone on a family holiday and were looking very close in pictures, far more than a co-parenting relationship.

Hannah had messaged before this, saying ‘he’s back with my sister’ and ‘he still sleeps in their bed’. I hadn’t believed her – assuming she was meddling out of spite. There was never any proof until the pictures.

When he came home, I confronted him. All he could say was ‘it’s not what you think it is’, claiming Claire had made him go for the kids, and he didn’t want to be there. 

I was actually pretty calm when I broke it off. The emotions came afterwards.

I’m pleased he didn’t see me hurt and glad I found out about the cheating when I did, before we had progressed our wedding planning or trying to have a baby. 

A few months later my mum asked me about my plan for the ring. Noah hadn’t asked for it back, it was just sitting in my house, a sad reminder of the future I would never get now. 

I had held onto it until then, looking for a way to forgive him. It’s hard to accept someone I loved so much was no longer in my life, and had made me live a lie for three years. 

My mum suggested I sell it, and use the money for myself. The ring was originally worth £12,000; I got £8,000 for it at a local place who buys diamonds, and decided to put the money to good use. 

Though it was nice to get the money, it also felt even sadder in a way that the ring was really worth something. I couldn’t help wondering why Noah spent so much but treated me so badly. My suspicion is that Noah would have continued the double life if he’d not been found out.

So I went with two friends to Spain first, using the money for the ring to pay for my holiday, and I was able to treat my friends to some dinners. It was exactly what I needed and my friends helped me heal. 

I had fun and partied, rather than feeling down.

With the remainder of the money, I bought a second-hand but good quality car, which I desperately needed for work. 

Looking back at what I thought was a perfect relationship, it all feels tainted. It took me months to get over him, and I still don’t fully feel healed. I’m more wary of relationships, less trusting, mindful of lies and I think less naive. 

I’m seeing a new guy now. It feels real – he doesn’t put me on a pedestal so much, which is something I liked about Noah but it was all fake. 

Ironically he is actually maturer and less selfish despite being younger than Noah. 

He is the same age as me. It’s only been a few months but it’s going well – a joint relationship where we make time for each other and I am already good friends with his family, rather than being kept a secret. 

And this time I’m not rushing or letting myself be rushed.

*Names have been changed 

As told to Maicey Navarro Griffiths

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing M.Navarrogriffiths@metro.co.uk. 

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