‘No single entry. After 9pm, Alibi does not permit single entry.’
This is the sign greeting customers at a bar in Greater Manchester, which doesn’t allow anyone in if they’re by themselves.
The unmissable red and white sign adds that if you’re meeting friends inside, they’ll need to come and collect you at the entrance, a policy that’s in place for the ‘safety of all guests’.
Alibi, a cocktail and karaoke bar on Shaw’s road near Altrincham Market, has caused quite the stir with its decision to bar lone customers.
For many, it feels like an attack on single people, who already struggle to meet potential dates, or who simply prefer their own company. Social media users branded the ban ‘misguided’ and ‘sad on so many levels’.
In a clip posted to the bar’s Instagram account, owner Carl Peters, initially explained the policy was for the sake of his staff.
Carl said: ‘If someone is on their own, it means that they’re not with someone else. So if something happens to them in a late night, busy bar environment, where people are drinking, it’s an absolute nightmare for us to deal with.’
However, he went on to make some claims about the type of person who might want to enjoy a drink alone.
‘It also happens to be the case that sometimes if you let people in on their own, their reason why they’re on their own is that they’ve got no-one to talk to, so they start mithering other groups,’ he said.
‘Because, they’re not just going to sit there in a bar having a drink on their own in silence. That’s when things start to happen and people are like “who’s this person on their own annoying us?”.
‘So, what we do as a venue, is we just eliminate that. Unless you’re with a group and we know who you’re with, then you’re not coming in.’
The sign also states a dress code, telling customers not to wear sportswear or tracksuits, Stone Island branded clothing, ripped or frayed jeans or clothing which has ‘roadman vibes’.
‘It’s hurtful to a lot of single people’
Nicola Slawson, author of Single: Living a Complete Life on Your Own Terms, tells Metro that it’s policies like the ones at Alibi that adds to the stigma that single people face.
‘I’m really shocked, it feels like another way to penalise single people and make them out to be something weird or freaky,’ she says.
As a single mum, Nicola often heads to the pub by herself while her baby’s father, who she platonically co-parents with, puts him to bed.
‘There’s so many reasons to be on your own and to lump everyone in the same box is quite sickening, it’s really hurtful to a lot of single people,’ she adds.
The mum feels the ban also exacerbates the social isolation epidemic, and adds there are elderly people in her community who go to the pub alone because it’s the only way they get to experience social connection.
‘I do understand they’re trying to protect people, but you’re just throwing all single people under the bus because there are a few letchy people. It penalises the good single men and women — I hope this doesn’t catch on.’
Sara Scott, single by choice solo travel blogger, agrees, telling Metro: ‘He’s making a huge assumption about why single people take themselves out for a drink, blaming an entire group of people for the actions of a few.
‘My guess is that he’s dealt with a lot more problem customers who entered his bar in groups than he has with single customers.
‘Doesn’t matter now, because he wouldn’t get my money even if I was headed out with friends for an evening.’
How to build confidence to go to bars and restaurants alone
If you do fancy taking yourself off on a solo date, but you’re feeling a little nervous, Nadia O’Boye, business and life success coach, recommends starting with a simple question.
‘First of all, ask yourself – what is the fear?,’ Nadia told Metro. ‘Why are you actually scared of doing things alone? Identify these fears so you can start to address them.
‘Society tells you that maybe it is weird to eat alone, but aside from that, is there any legitimate fear? Once you have all those fears out there, start to go through them and look for evidence as to why these are untrue or not realistic.’
Other helpful tips include:
– Take a prop, such as a book, to help you feel at ease
– Treat yourself to the nicest wine and meal you can afford to make it feel like a proper solo date.
– Don’t accept the worst seat in the house.
– Own it. That means faking it to you make it.
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