‘This industry isn’t for the faint of heart’: What it’s like being married to a porn star

Dating a porn star may be every teenage boy’s fantasy, but the general public has some strong opinions about the idea of marrying one.

In the recent Bonnie Blue documentary, her former husband Ollie Davidson spoke with media for the first time about their 10-year relationship, revealing how he supported the OnlyFans star’s career from the start – and was even on her payroll.

Social media commenters were unconvinced though, with responses under one clip on Facebook ranging from ‘She has a husband!?’ to ‘He deserves better.’

‘I can’t imagine the humiliation that man must be going through,’ wrote one user, while another added: ‘Poor guy must feel so embarrassed. Surprised she had a husband tbh. She doesn’t seem the type.’

Judgement is also an issue for LoyalFans creator and Playboy model Anja Little, 45, and her husband Brad, 46, who’ve been married for seven years and live in South Germany.

Despite the fact they met because of Anja’s X-rated side hustle (when Brad answered an ‘amateur photographer wanted’ ad she’d put in the paper), the couple keep it secret from the majority of people they know in real life, especially those they work with in their healthcare day jobs.

Brad tells Metro: ‘My closest friends know we do this and they don’t push or pry or anything, but I do try to keep it away from my family back in the USA’s Bible Belt.’

Behind closed doors, it’s the polar opposite. Describing themselves as ‘exhibitionists’, they both enjoy the attention Anja receives for her spicy content. In fact, having dated other women who sold nude photos or used underwear in the past, Brad says he ‘couldn’t be with anybody that didn’t do this’ as he’d find it ‘boring’.

It certainly gives them a boost in the bedroom, and where the sex lives of many married couples their age start winding down, they’re at it as often as 40 times a month.

Outside of this though, they’re ‘kind of dorks’ with a largely ‘vanilla’ lifestyle; snuggling and chatting in the mornings, going out for walks, and watching UFO or ghost-hunting videos on YouTube, with Brad cooking dinner each night while Anja cleans up.

According to Anja, their marriage stays strong because it’s built on ‘trust and unconditional love’.

She adds: ‘I love that he loves the fact other men like my style and my sexuality, but in my heart, he’s the only one.’

‘It’s easy to f*** somebody attractive and forget their name the next day,’ Brad continues. ‘But she just drives me nuts, still, after seven years. I can tell her things that I’ve never told anybody else.’

When Andi Avalon, 36, met her husband Joey, 38, over a decade ago, she was a cocktail waitress and he was the ‘charming regular’ who asked her out 12 times before she said yes.

‘Turns out, persistence pays off,’ Andi tells Metro. ‘We bonded over dirty martinis and his terrible jokes… Neither of us imagined we’d end up in adult film, but life has a funny way of rerouting you.’

It was actually Joey who first floated the idea of entering the porn industry together, but Andi was nervous due to the impact it could have on their three children, now aged 17, 9 and seven. She eventually came round though, concluding: ‘We’re already the happiest, most communicative couple we know. Why not make it our job to show others how that works?’

In the three years since they started out, they’ve starred in movies such as Mom Is Horny, Adventures of a Hotwife and Sperm Bank Overload, with Andi earning the XBIZ award for MILF Creator of the year.

It hasn’t all been plain sailing though; many of Joey’s lifelong friends ghosted him when they found out about their new venture, while Andi claims her dad disowned her.

‘It’s wild to see who comes to your side and who turns their back when you are the most vulnerable and the easiest target,’ she says. ‘This industry is not for the faint of heart.’

The couple, who got married in 2015, have also had to build strategies to deal with any potential jealousy. Alongside keeping each other abreast of each other’s scenes and co-stars, they have a ‘pause button’ policy where they revisit issues after 24 hours once the initial emotion has calmed down.

Los Angeles-based Andi continues: ‘After shoots, we reconnect physically “on our terms” — even if it’s just hanging out on the sofa with our favourite show and a bowl of popcorn.’

People often expect them to be ‘deviant’ or for Joey to be a ‘porn bro’, but day to day, life for the husband and wife is ‘quite boring’.

‘We will attend industry parties and go to the occasional swinger masquerades,’ says Andi. ‘However, we don’t drink or do any other extracurricular activities so we are very tame (most of the time).’

She feels the idea that women in the sex industry are ‘running from trauma or addiction’ is one of the biggest misconceptions about people in her line of work, as in her experience, they’re really ‘running toward financial freedom and creative expression.’

It’s a similar view to that of John*, who was introduced to Cherie DeVille three years ago by mutual friends, and fell in love with ‘her confidence, honesty, and the way she owns her life and career.’

For them, open communication and trust are key to keeping their relationship strong, as is ‘a very clear understanding of the difference between her work and [their] relationship.’

‘We would call ourselves emotionally monogamous and ethically non-monogamous,’ John, who’s in his 40s and works in the music industry, tells Metro. ‘What she does professionally is totally separate from what we share personally. It’s a job like any other.’

He explains: ‘What I wish more people understood is that being in the adult industry does not mean someone is less deserving of love or a strong relationship.

‘Cherie is thoughtful, funny, loyal, and one of the most grounded people I know. What we have is real because we are both honest about who we are, and what we need from each other.’

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